Working with Archetype to evolve mindfully calls us to take an Aquarian approach, which is to flip things, zoom out, look from all different perspectives, ask the bigger questions, within a liberatory quest.
This Sun Cycle we have been asking what our feelings of envy can teach us. And, as we look at how jealousy lives in us we must also consider how it affects us.
One of the most visceral and impacting experiences of my adolescence was being isolated and pulled aside at a party by a group of senior girls who surrounded me, got in my face and asked,
“WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE and why are you here when NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE?!?!”
In that moment, I literally internalized their united voice. For decades, anytime I would try to step out in a way that might draw the attention of other women or show up somewhere that my presence might shift the dynamic for women, I literally heard a voice inside my head assert, “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”
It took conscious engagement and effort to unwind the impact of that moment and the fear it put in me.
In the process, I recognized how deeply ingrained it is in our cultural paradigm and social history for women (thereby girls) up to see one another as competition and try and bring other girls/women down.
Because these dynamics between girls and women are not directly addressed in the places I was seeking healing and personal growth, I had to take a indirect route. It took years of applying wisdom perspectives and practices to my life to track the source of this “who do you think you are?” voice.
A deep LONGING for sisterhood and creative collaboration with other women lived alongside this voice and moved me into situations that led me to confront it over and over.
Overtime, I was able to begin to undo the pattern by orienting toward compassionate self-awareness and applying tools to shift my perspective in moments that triggered the inner dynamics that this early encounter established. Overtime, I learned to depersonalize and establish a mindset that allowed me to free myself.
It took the Aquarian approach and Taurus willingness to stick with the work to see the results come to fruition to unwind the remnants of that old paradigm and buildout a personal paradigm defined by women to women engagement that is founded on collaboration, inspiration as well as a celebration of each other’s soul beauty, gifts and light.
Ultimately, this is the Aquarian energy that we are working with on this Waning Half moon.
Find space to reflect out in nature. Observe the beauty and abundance of the seasons. Take some deep breaths and free write to reflect upon the following questions.
Is there a “voice” equivalent to my “Who do you think you are?” that asserts in your mind?
Where does it come from?
How does it limit you?
Is it time to free yourself from the influence of this “voice”?
If you feel it is time to address anything that arose in this reflection with support, I invite you to consider our Transformative Empowerment Journey that begins on the New Moon, May 14th.