It was 1am and I was itching to crawl into my camp bed in the cabin at Camp Ballibay in the beautiful rolling hills of Northeastern Pennsylvania. The last of the counselors had signed back in for the night and I only had to do my final round to make sure all was clear on campus before snuggling down.
I began walking down the path, in the cool dark night, in a landscape that had me completely enthralled by day. In the light of the warm Sun, my heart melted as I admired every curve, tree, plant, and fungi of this land.
But, as the dark of the night with sky full of twinkling stars beckoning me to look up and take pleasure, I was seized with fear.
As my body grew tense and my heart began to race, I fought the strong urge to literally sprint back to my cabin screaming.
It was so unsettling to see myself having this reaction. So very upsetting to KNOW that I was safe and DESIRE to relish in the beauty of this landscape under the light of the moon and stars, only to be thwarted by a fear deep in my unconscious that robbed me of this pleasure.
The night duty that seemed a chore ended up being a gateway to a new inquiry and a profound journey to claim freedom over my fear of the dark and many other unconscious fears that had me caught somewhere short of realizing the opportunities and pleasures that life has to offer.
Along the way I learned a ton about how fear functions; how to track fears to their origins. I discovered ways to learn what our fears and doubts have to teach us, and how to free ourselves from the limitations they place upon us that forestall us from realizing our intentions and aspirations.
Throughout this Celestial Cycle, I will share what I learned in this journey. The inquiries and practices are designed to support you in coming to a deeper understanding of how fear (dis)functions in your life, and begin to shift your relationship to those fears that have you trapped somewhere short of where you long to find yourself in the landscape of your life.