Are you Communicating and Expressing from a Place of Awareness?

In my Evolving Mindfully journey, active engagement with different texts of all kinds is essential. This conversation between Anand Giridharadas and Krista Tippet, is one that contributed to my evolving in my relationship with key language in my area of focus.


In his book, Girdiharadas calls upon those whose decisions shape the rules of the game, as well as, ALL of US, whose micro decisions support the macro playing field, to grapple with the underlying assumptions we operate from and their effect in our world.


One of the aspects of Girdiharadas’ orientation, which I deeply appreciate, is his attention to the power of language to define and structure our world.


Knowing this, I grapple with word choice because the symbols/metaphors common within the realms of personal/collective growth, spiritually and evolution are so subjectively laden.


I am acutely aware that each person encountering something I write or say will understand the terms I utilize differently depending on their personal, familial, cultural, demographic, spiritual and/or religious background and predisposition. 


I like this challenge because it pushes me to clarify the essence of what I desire to communicate.


One word choice that was prevalent in Girdiharadas and Tippets conversation is one that I have been wrestling with and have consciously decided to change my use of within my lexicon. 


Girdiharadas’ uses “darkness" as a symbol for what I understand in this conversation to be our human capacity to engage in ways, individually and collectively, that give rise to suffering, are destructive and undermine what many of us would say we actually desire for ourselves, our families and communities.  


Within this understanding, I wholeheartedly support his call for us to inquire into what he calls an “underdeveloped sense of human darkness”.


I agree that venturing into the part of our individual psyches to identify ideas, beliefs, habits and patterns that perpetuate conditions that DO NOT SUPPORT what we actually desire to be, feel, experience or perpetuate is essential to conscious evolution. 


This exercise is central to everything I share through Evolving Mindfully because it helps us to eliminate that which undermines what we most desire to see flourish.


In communicating this aspect of self-awareness, I initially used the language of “dark” and “light” too. 


When I listened to this conversation I was already in a conversation with myself about the fact that this was an unexamined choice. 


I was realizing that I used “dark” and “light” because they are the metaphors handed down through the wisdom lineages I work within as well as the popular culture. As symbols, they functioned well and for years felt fairly neutral to me. 


My use of “dark/darkness” has been related to a call to inquire into those aspects of ourselves that we relegate (consciously or unconsciously) to the recesses of our psyches and the inner workings of our minds.


When we explore our unexamined assumptions/stories/belief/emotional patterns, which have the capacity to do and often do harm or reinforce what is contrary to our stated intentions, we come into greater awareness. 


Awareness gives rise to an opportunity to alter our thinking, speaking and acting.


From a place of awareness, we can come into alignment with what we fundamentally aspire to express and bring into being.


It felt somewhat ironic that, in my own journey to examine the unexamined places in my psyche, I come to understand how this dark/light dichotomy and symbolism actually contributes to a racist paradigm (NOT SOMETHING I WANT TO SUPPORT) in ways I did not realize.


As I was pondering this, I just happened to watch Spike Lee’s Malcom X on a flight. It was interesting that (according to this film) the first thing Baines, who mentored Malcom X in prison, had him do was look up the words "white" and "black" in the dictionary. 


The way this scene spoke to what I have in the last many months come to an awareness of with respect to the light/dark linguistic dichotomy felt synchronistic. 


It illuminated from another angle the way this dichotomy functions as an edification of light/white and a debasement of the dark/black that linguistically reinforces racism based on color. 


As a result, I am committed to finding other terms to communicate what “dark” and “light” has symbolized in my offerings and ridding my work of this historical/cultural coding. 


In the process, I am enriched by looking for terms that capture the essence without carrying the racial coding. 


I believe it will actually add sharpness and precision to the ways that I communicate and reference what I heretofore used “light” and “dark” to symbolize. 


Further, I am committed to bringing attention to it where I can, which may be quite an endeavor as the use of these metaphors is ubiquitous in the realms of personal and spiritual evolution. 


As we move into this “season of light” I felt it was an opportune time to address this aspect of Evolving Mindfully and the commitment I am making within the context of our offerings. 


I would LOVE to hear what this evokes in you and if you have suggestions for words that might replace the following terms in the lexicon of Evolving Mindfully. 

Speaking Out: The Relationship between Personal Choice and Collective Change

Deep bow to Lauren O'Connor who followed her conscince to file a memo sharing her experiences and concerns about the culture within the Weinstein company. The lead of that memo was the crack that let to the dismantlement of the wall of power, money and silence that protected a predator.

Mindful evolution is a personal way engaging with life circumstances that affect the collective. The mindful approach that Lauren O’Connor takes with respect to what she witnessed and experienced at the Weinstein company offers an example of the relationship between personal choices and collective change.

Amy Goodman sat down with O’Connor for a thorough interview from Sundance where the film, “Untouchable”, which gives voice to the violations against human dignity and personal sovereignty Weinstein’s power and wealth covered.

Her thoughtful consideration of the essential social issues at play, the immense professional and personal cost and challenges that she has paid and the policy considerations are valuable.

I hope her insights into the systemic changes that need to be made to bring equity into the relationships between all humans in their basic rights to dignity, sovereignty over their own bodies, consent and protection to speak out when these aspects of their being are violated get a wide audience.

I hope many of her points are taken up as aspects to focus on within the media round this film rather than the grisly provocative shocking details of the violations Weinstein and others like him are exposed for and may stand trial for that so often are the focus of media coverage.

Here are a few of O’Connor’s points that feel particularly are important to meditate upon individually and collectively as we digest all that is being presented on this case and others like it.

On the paths to speaking out:

It is interesting I think because sitting where we sit today…there seem to be two paths when it comes to standing up to abuse standing up to power. One is localized and a little more private you go to the localized powers that be hat you think will be able to effect immediate change as we already discussed you are often left wondering if any change occurs and are also often silenced. The other path is public and whether you move forward on a private path or public path it is a devils trade. And, I think, when you are positioned publicly it is difficult to conceive just how high the cost of courage is and just how literal the tax on integrity is."

On the cost of coming forward:

“I have hundreds of thousands of dollars of bills that I cannot pay from the last year and a half…there are a lot of legal situation surrounding this… that have required legal support… and in therapy, which is crucial to weathering this and recovering from it. I am in debt and I am employed FT in a good job. There is a real personal cost to all this. When you choose to go public or are made public regardless of whether you do or don’t not have power platform you are thereafter defined by a single instant you are called a victim or survivor called or whistleblower or compliment you have to then operate for the rest of your life every time you walk into a room, whether it is a business meeting, a first date or making a new friend you have to assume that that one moment of your life proceeds you. That someone has already decided who you are.”

“It is ironic, we are in a moment right now that is about consent, ownership of voice, its in direct protest to objectification and yet when you are made into a public figure you risk being objectified all over again by a label.”

On the empowerment and power of solidarity:

“I am so grateful for the women who came forward from the bottom of my heart…. If you are a powerful media figure you can bury one story, you cannot bury hundreds of stories… the solidarity provided by each women who cam forward protected me too.

One of the most beautiful things we have seen happen over the last year and a half is…Rape is often a word associated with shame. We have seen the word rape come out of the closet and in place of shame there is solidarity.”

On the need for social/policy change:

“What I would love to see next is policy to rise to meet social change…. What I think men and women are standing up for a system to protect the abused and not the abuser.”

“Power operates on multiple levels. It operates in professional hierarchy you have juniors seniors presidents CEOs COOs, media (do you have platform, do you have voice, do you not have platform do you not have voice ) power operates across finances (do you have money do you not have money), and it operates across gender. So when we talk about Harvey Weinstein being stacked at 10 and me stacked at 0 those are the measurements.”

“I am really grateful to see due process at play here. But, I also do not think that one man losing his job or going to trail means that the whole world has changed. I think what people we are seeing men and women alike standing up for here and through the whole me too is for the system to change. And a system to change in that it protects the abused and not the abuser and a system that resets the balance of power.”

Amy Goodman is one of my absolute heroes! I am so grateful for her thoughtful in-depth coverage of so many issues the are not covered in the mainstream media and aspects of issues that the mainstream does not address in their coverage of many stories.

Thank you Democracy Now! for holding the highest standards for journalistic reporting, rather than spin or soundbite circulation that dominates.

Silence, Stillness and Speaking Out

I wanted to offer something this week in this potent moment in our cultural landscape, our societal landscape, our political landscape.

There is a lot that is surfacing and has been for a long time. As I have been sitting with all of this, I have really been taking the opportunity to weave in the practices that I offer in many different settings.

Recognizing that we all have places and spaces in our lives that we are silenced and have been silenced, much more silenced than we actually realized. The presentation of the things that are out there right now can be very triggering, people are having re-traumatization.

My orientation with Evolving Mindfully is to support you to feel into your own lenses and own layers of experience around anything, so that you can find inner silence, stillness, and from there become very clear on what your “Speak Out” is in this moment.

Each and every one of us has a valuable perspective.

So much in this moment is about the idea of discernment and deliberation. This Supreme Court role is one where we are expecting whomever who occupies it to be above and beyond. To have developed their skills of discerning and deliberating to such an extent that they can approach something that really considers all of the different layers with respect to a higher standard, the intention of the Constitution. The Constitution lays out the values that it intends to provide a framework for the realization of those ideas and values.

That is really what Evolving Mindfully is all about. It is about us, as individuals, really being in tune to what our personal Constitution is. What are the values and the intentions that we are measuring, our own internal responses to things as well as external things.

It is with that in mind that I wanted to provide a short exercise that would support you, if you really want to explore what is coming up in this moment or what is coming up for you in another area of your life, you can use this exercise to apply to anything.

I recommend having a pen and paper at hand. The idea of this is to take a moment to draw back, to be silent and to silence yourself and take this stillness to look within.

How do you respond to “bad” news from or about someone you love?

This week I received an inquiry through Evolving Mindfully from a man who asked how he could respond to a friend who shared with him a concerning health diagnosis. He wanted tips on how to respond and send healing energy to his friend. 

I was touched by the care and loving intention in his question and told him I would address it and provide a practice this weekend for the community because my guess is he is not alone. 

As I sat with this inquiry, it resonated with conversations I’ve had with myself and then with our daughters over the last few months. 

The first was when got the call that my husband had collapsed on the way to work and was in the ER. As we navigated several days of uncertainty followed by his procedure and healing process, I turned my attention to applying the principles I share in my work to meet this crisis  in our lives because that is the entire point. 

If the practices fly out the window when we are pushed up against the wall, what good are they anyway!

Then, when I learned that family friends would be announcing a divorce, I sat with how to prepare our daughters to receive and respond when someone they love shares something about their life that is challenging.

My intention was to support them to consider how to respond in a way that sensitively creates space instead of imposing an interpretation that might actually make their friend feel worse. 

At its core, Evolving Mindfully is centered around a responsive, rather than reactive approach, to life.

As I sat with these questions I was also tuning into media, movies, TV, music and really hit me just how countercultural a responsive mindful approach is in our mainstream culture.

While it has not been easy to swim upstream, I had no choice, REALLY. After I received the call that my father had taken his life, learning to respond rather than react became a matter of sanity and survival because I was not sure I could take any more traumatic life events given that they triggered me to reactively numb myself with food, alcohol and other escapes from my actual life. 

If I would not have devoted myself over the next decade to respond to the subsequent traumas that I’ve experienced, I truly believe I would either be dead or so checked out and messed up that I would have wished I was. 

This is why I am committed to sharing what I have learned to help others mindfully navigate the stresses and traumas of life in ways that allow them to respond and care for themselves and those they love to hold space for healing and growth through challenge and change.

I offer this practice to support you to mindfully process disconcerting news and to extend supportive energy to the loved one that is involved.

Are You Too Old to Be Mothered?

In our modern society, the idea of “mothering” oneself may seem quite quaint, however, it is a potent prescription for wellness and self-actualization.

For many of us there is a lot to be attended to in order to reconcile ourselves with the experience of being “mothered” in the ways that support our wellbeing.

“Mothering” is both an individual experience of how the person we identify as our “mother” fulfilled that role as well as an archetypal ideal of care that is central to our ongoing emotional nourishment regardless of our age or stage of lives.

Sitting in group circles and engaging in processes of healing, empowerment and transformation with individuals of both sexes, I am acutely aware of the complex and formative nature of our “mother” relationship. I hold with great care the way this relationship sets the tone for how we approach ourselves on so many levels.

Our relationship with the person who “mothered” us and the way we ultimately “mother” ourselves and those we care for is layered. It is as critical as it is complicated, for it has far-reaching implications on our personal wellbeing, how we care for others and how we actualize who we are in the world.

Reflecting upon our relationship with our own “mother” as well as what attributes we associate with “mothering” helps us learn how to better provide for ourselves the nourishment, emotional attunement and self-care that supports us in living fully, authentically and navigating our lives centered and skilled.

This Celestial Cycle we will focus on our relationship to 'mothering'. We will explore the way we relate to our personal mother figure as well as the archetype of the “Mother”.

Over the next 4 weeks, I will offer perspectives and inquiries to support a view into you through these vital relationships.

Engaging in this journey will support insight on your approach to nourishing yourself; your capacity to emotionally attune to and care for yourself and others; your ability to communicate mindfully; as well as your approach to actualizing our aspirations.

Our ability to communicate with emotional integrity, clarity and compassion has deep implications on our wellbeing and relationships. 

I am passionate about creating spaces to engage in personal inquiry and potent practices to support Self-Mastery.

Join me Sunday, July 24th at 8pm ET for a Self-Mastery Session on Conscious Communication. 

Creating Space for Curiosity

Creating Space for Curiosity

What’s the first thing that you think of when you hear the word curiosity?

That it killed the cat?

I don’t know about you, but I was certainly discouraged from venturing too far as a child. Ideas, styles, music, books, careers, especially questions about why the people in our lives were doing things that seemed to be causing them pain.

It wasn’t the explicit warnings that were the most powerful, it was the implicit.

The sideways glances that were thrown when someone who was living boldly or creatively walked by. The way topics that everyone seemed to know, but you, were taboo (before you brought it up and the room went silent, until someone awkwardly changed the subject) were avoided. The way no one ever exclaimed THERE IS AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM! The way the channel was changed whenever someone came on who might do or say something that ran contrary to the opinions of those present.

There were very few people in my circle that I would describe as truly openminded.

These are not judgments of the people I love and care for, and who love and care for me well. They are observations that have been essential to opening my mind, healing my heart and expanding my world.

It is a candid sharing of what I’ve really come to understand as a principle that fuels awakening to broader more nonjudgemental perspectives.

Looking with objective curiosity and naming things plainly, with an eye toward deepening understanding, helps us to recognize their implications and impact. 

Getting curious about what may inhibit us from exploring other curiosities frees us to ask questions and follow subtle urges toward interests that lead to fuller understanding our gifts; enriching connections with people who are different than we are; new ways to express our innate creativity; and living with a sense of wonder and awe.  

This is why the guiding principle for Evolving Mindfully self-inquiries is:

No criticism, just curiosity.

And, why I am offering a free Self-Mastery Session to Create Space for Curiosity.

How Does Envy Help Guide You Toward Empowerment?

While feeling envious stinks, with compassionate self-awareness our most uncomfortable feelings and experiences become our greatest teachers.

Jealousy has the power to teach us what we truly desire.

Likewise, envy reveals to us the attributes and characteristics, which we see in others, but imagine that we don’t possess or have within us to cultivate.

While we may get on a superficial level, when we feel envy it is because we desire what someone else has, taking it to the next level of mindful awareness allows us to come into deeper engagement with what we truly desire to feel, express, experience and manifest.

Paying attention, raising our awareness and reflecting on our feelings of jealousy provides us with potent fuel for personal empowerment.

We may suppress feelings of jealousy to avoid confronting this discomfort.

When the truth is that attempts to avoid this kind of discomfort only delays the inevitable and keeps us stifled in our growth.

The good news is that engaging and learning from what lies under the surface is a skill of empowerment that we can learn.

I am passionate about mining the riches of our feelings and using these inner resources to create lives of passion, purpose and fulfillment.

This month throughout our Celestial Cycle Series (introduced below) we will explore how to flip feelings of jealousy and envy from enemies into teachers.

We will dive into the Evolving Mindfully approach to empowerment in a free webinar this Sunday, April 22nd.

Who are You? Where do you Come From? Who are You Becoming? Why are these Questions Worthwhile?

Most of our behaviors are processes that arise from the subconscious/unconscious layer of our being. These behaviors or reactions to life stimulus reflect a combination of nature and nurture.

Ongoing incidents of instinct and experience form habitual responses that often do not align with who we actually see ourselves to be and what we most desire to experience.

Our habitual responses often keep us spinning in justification, defense, clean-up, second-guessing, procrastination, disconnection and confusion.

Evolving Mindfully is about awakening to these aspects of ourselves in a way that gives rise to transformative empowerment.

One of the foundations of cultivating conscious lifestyle to align with our intentions is the idea that deep down, we all desire and deserve to live lives of beauty, peace, joy, intimacy, purpose meaning and fulfillment.

It also reflects the truth that (and this is utterly amazing considering how many of us there are) each of us is a unique individual combination of attributes and characteristics that longs for an experience of Self that is authentic, vital and fully actualized.

Many of us want to live the answers to the questions who am I; where do I come from; who am I becoming; why am I here; what is my contribution in real time without having to take time.

Still, the truth is, in order to actualize being who we are and realize our potential in fulfilling and meaningful ways in all areas of life requires that we take time to study ourselves and empower ourselves to bring our thoughts, words, attitudes and actions into alignment.

Taking time to consider these questions regularly is an act of mindfulness and reflects an ancient yogic principle of Svadhyaya, which means self-study. The Eightfold path of yoga is a system that supports self-study toward self-mastery.

A key element of self-study is the function of Sakshi,  the Inner-Witness. Many forms of ancient wisdom work with a concept of the Inner-Witness and offer, as Yoga does, myriad practical practices to cultivate the capacity to begin to notice without judgment.

Noticing without judgment is a key of self-study and also very powerful in supporting quality of relationship with the people in our lives.

When the Inner-Witness functions through practices that can be done in time set aside to learn as well as (and ultimately most importantly) in the course of living our lives, we really get to know who we are in a way that creates spaciousness to begin to release identification with conditioning that drives us in directions we do not necessarily desire to go.

One of the beautiful aspects of the way these practices work is that they are really very simple and gentle. They build our capacity for awareness and empathy towards ourselves and others that begin to transform our lives and relationships in ways that; yes, requires some devotion to applying yourself to learn new skills and tools, but is really quite simple and easeful to implement.

I am thrilled to be offering an upcoming Self-Mastery Session: Transformation: Explore the What, How, Where, When and Why of Change. Are your days imbued with the qualities, characteristics, feelings and experiences that reflect the beauty, pleasure, joy, love and connection that is possible? Realizing these possibilities generally requires a transformation of emotional, thought and behavioral patterns.

Embodying an And Rather than an Or Orientation on Life

Photo Credit: Larm Rmah

I remember when the “Nature versus Nurture” debate had a real moment in the media spotlight. I was in my late teens and I recall raising my hand in social studies class to ask, why are they talking about versus, clearly it is nature AND nurture.

The way this versus thing was so hotly debated had a huge influence on me. I realized that everywhere I looked I encountered the OR that versus implied. In economics, we were limited to the options of capitalism vs. communism.

At the time, I was also turning my attention to spiritual/philosophical questions. A deep longing was moving me to reconcile what I sensed about the nature of existence with the doctrine that was presented to as the right way of seeing the world in my community’s culture.

What I intuited and felt, with respect to spiritual principles, seemed to be in stark contrast to much of the tenants of the Church. What my questioning revealed was that clearly, the dominant view was that religion was a matter of versus (OR) too.

I was also coming to understand that the dominant view was founded upon a literal interpretation of the Bible that established a strong Man versus (OR) Nature orientation. It was awakening to see how this interpretation is used to justify acts that degrade and destroy the environment. I began to see how it is used to justify a patriarchal hierarchical societal structure steeped in Men versus Women, White versus Blacks, Americans versus Non-Americans.

There is even often an OR assumed and asserted in the relationship between spiritual and secular life, which seems equally unproductive and stifling to connection, communion and the common good.

As I came to see the roots of a versus/OR mentality entwined within the mindset I was born into, I came to understand that literal interpretations of texts of all kinds are closely tied with OR orientations toward other people, ideas, cultures and ways of doing things in general.

While I draw upon myriad wisdom traditions that may be seen as having doctrine and dogma associated with them, especially when interpreted through the lens of someone who comes from a doctrinal and dogmatic tradition, I do not discriminate on the bases of which system is “right”.

I consider all systems of thought, spiritual and religious teachings and secular inquiries into human psyche through an AND lens.  

The orientation in my path and offerings is both spiritual AND secular. Ultimately, what contributes to the wellbeing of the soul are attitudes and actions that are creative and positive in their material impact.

Evolving Mindfully is based in deep curiosity about the nature of reality outside of all forms of dogma and doctrine (be it secular or spiritual). It is founded in the idea that ultimately any comprehensive understanding must be inclusive (and) rather than exclusive (or).

Evolving Mindfully is an AND orientation to life that is based in empathy as a practice of being curious about why we/others do what we/they do given the circumstances of our/their lives and how we can connect in ways that support the highest good of all.

I believe working within ourselves to embody an AND mentality is a spiritual practice that fulfills a civic duty. It is also personally and collectively enriching because the intersection of seemingly opposing ideas is where worthwhile and progressive perspectives emerge.

As I continue to expand into an AND way of experiencing the world I feel more connection with everything and all beings. I am better able to soften and open, even when I am deeply challenged by a perspective that is difficult to reconcile with something I feel strongly about or hold as a core value.

While it might seem that being and oriented would mean being permissive to things that are not aligned, in fact, this too is an AND rather than an OR situation. By making space to be inclusive I am better able to hold clear boundaries that are also permeable enough to allow my mind and heart to remain open to the possibility of something new arising in the space the AND holds.

I invite you to stay in this exploration of shifting from an OR to an AND orientation with me throughout this Celestial Cycle. Begin by considering the opinions you express in the next few days and inquiring whether they reflect an OR or and AND mentality.

Are you Exercising your Birthright to be Free?

Exercising our birthright of freedom on the spiritual and material planes is the pinnacle expression of gratitude for this miraculous mystery of incarnation.

This is why we get rushes of inspiration and adrenaline when we see movies and listen to music that capture the essence of an individual, family or group overcoming adversity, realizing their gifts, creating something stunning and realizing their dreams.

Knowing and believing are essentials to realizing the freedom that is ours to embody and express.

Knowing what is of use to cultivate in our lives and what it is time to release is one of the skills we must master to experience freedom and realize our aims.

Each of us carries habits of thinking, feeling and behaving that are holdovers from our family lineage, internalized messages of fear and scarcity, coping strategies we developed, that no longer serve.

What we release supports freedom from… greed, suffering, pain, jealousy, anger, frustration, regret, remorse. Freedom from generates energy and allows us to channel powerful resources once tied up in depleting patterns into generative activities.

Mastering the exercise of knowing (admitting, owning, taking responsibility for) and transforming what inhibits and limits are the keys to freedom from.

Freedom to is something different. This is where belief takes center stage, for we will never experience what we do not believe we have the right, skill or worthiness to embody, do or attain.

Identifying the beliefs that govern our thoughts, words and behavior allows us to address those that are limited in nature.

Creating a system of belief that affirms our freedom to expand the horizon of what is possible and enables us to move beyond previous boundaries.

Join me in my posts, events, and Self-Mastery sessions this Celestial Cycle to rework our knowing and believing to support our intentions and aspirations.

Are you Focusing on the Field of Play that Really Matters?

As you reflect upon 2017 and consider your intentions for 2018, keep in mind one of the most important realizations one can have: the primary playing field of life is located within. Our life experience is first and foremost an inner game.

From here, everything else takes shape. The state of our nervous system; the perspective we have on our lives; the feelings we cultivate; the thoughts we fuel; are the “behind the scenes” factors that determine how our story plays out.

Our primary field of influence is our own inner landscape. Many of us live our lives without a substantive relationship to the most influential aspects of our lives.

We numb, deny or repress our feelings, which wreaks havoc in our nervous systems. We allow our thoughts to run without curation. We unconsciously conform or rebel against our family and social models, falling into lifestyles and habits that do not reflect our authenticity or mindful design.  

At some point, often in the wake of a crisis or perhaps when we grow so tired of suffering the same set of feelings or circumstances that this inner production produces, some of us wake up and decide to get in the game.

Evolving Mindfully is an approach to life founded on this principle and actualized through self-inquiry and practices that develop our inner game. By learning to work with our nervous system, to support responding to rather than reacting to life, cultivating emotional intelligence and refining our thinking, we become our own supportive skillful coach, directing ourselves to realize our aims.

The process centers around cultivating psychical and energetic equilibrium to support emotional and mental equipoise. In my work with groups and individuals, we take a holistic approach and use the system of the Elements (Air, Fire, Earth and Water) as a framework to explore, understand, and adjust all of the aspects central to balanced wellbeing.
 

On this Solstice day, as the Sun begins its transit of Capricorn, symbolized by the Sea-goat, I invite you into a cycle of self-inquiry, intended to assess the state of your inner game.

Capricorn holds an archetype that is a bridge between the inner world and the outer world.

The Sea-goat embodies the ability to navigate the feeling, the emotion, and intuitive nature of the inner depths (Water), in combination with the characteristics of the mountain goat; whose steadiness, endurance, perseverance, self-sufficiency, and practicality are what its needed to navigate life's challenging terrain (Earth). 

Join me in this process of earnest reflection to identify where you can focus in 2018 to bring balance and skillfulness to your inner game.

Choose to receive weekly Celestial Cycles inspiration, inquiries, and action steps to support yourself to enter 2018 awake and committed to your growth and the realization of greater balance, presence, and ease in your life.

To support you in entering a New Year with a perhaps new or deepened understanding of the Elemental way of thinking,  I am offering a Free Self-Mastery Session on the Elements.

Air, Fire, Water and Earth carry deep and universal symbolism that reflect potent and powerful realities and aspects of being that, when considered consciously, can support us to live integrated, awake and fulfilling lives.

The Elements form the basis of many health systems including Ayurveda and Chinese medicine, as well as ancient psychology expressed through Astrology. When engaged actively, the Elements comprise a way of orienting toward self-awareness, self-direction, and self-actualization.

Reaping What We Sow Through the Seasons

Savoring what we Sow through the Seasons

Thanksgiving marks a threshold of the final frontier in an annual cycle. Here we enter a landscape full of occasions to reap the benefits of the the energy and attention we invested in evolving mindfully throughout the year. 

The added tasks and festivities of the holiday season call us to refine the art of prioritizing to avoid feeling overwrought and harried. 

Indulgences generously offered are invitations to practice discerning and savoring with all our senses. By truly taking pleasure in what we choose to consume we can resist the urge to overdo it. 

The expectations of family and friends create moments to bring conscious communication to the forefront in order to listen deeply and hold our and others desires and needs with care. 

The planning, procuring and preparation involved in hosting are opportunities to apply principles of simplicity to create experiences that are balanced and easeful. 

And, when we feel our edge and find ourselves off kilter we can mine the moment to practice self-compassion and feel our growing edges, noting areas for growth in season ahead.  

All of this really gets to the heart of evolving mindfully, as this approach to life is all about being conscious of the depth of potential in every moment.

How we navigate this potent period solidifies personal gains and set us up to enter another season of growth with a heart full of appreciation for the way we are living our lives.

Bringing mindful conversations to the table or mingling at parties can be a real gift to those you with gather with this season.

As you gather with friends and family, invite those you are with to take pause to honor the efforts each another have made in the last year to learn and grow.  

Share something you have learned through self-inquiry and invite others to reflect back what you have shared. 

Ask friends and family what new activities or ideas they are finding supportive to live well and share a positive development that has arisen from your practices. 

Give voice to your appreciation for the people that you find inspirational and whose work in the world is meaningful to you.

Express appreciation for the particular ways that the person in front of you contributes to your life.

Seeing the heightened potential of how we engage with those we share with over the holidays can make the difference in whether our gatherings leave us feeling satiated or starving. 

It may feel awkward at first to dive this deep and intentionally in settings that you have not before, however, you are bound to reap a reward for the risk. 

If you have continued reading this far, I offer you the deepest bow of gratitude for the level of mindful attention and intention your are bringing to your life and this world. 

I would LOVE your feedback on this offering and any conversations it stimulates. Please email me with any feedback at connect@evolvingmindfully.com

Where Does Fear and Doubt Have You Caught?

It was 1am and I was itching to crawl into my camp bed in the cabin at Camp Ballibay in the beautiful rolling hills of Northeastern Pennsylvania. The last of the counselors had signed back in for the night and I only had to do my final round to make sure all was clear on campus before snuggling down.

I began walking down the path, in the cool dark night, in a landscape that had me completely enthralled by day. In the light of the warm Sun, my heart melted as I admired every curve, tree, plant, and fungi of this land.

But, as the dark of the night with sky full of twinkling stars beckoning me to look up and take pleasure, I was seized with fear.

As my body grew tense and my heart began to race, I fought the strong urge to literally sprint back to my cabin screaming.

It was so unsettling to see myself having this reaction. So very upsetting to KNOW that I was safe and DESIRE to relish in the beauty of this landscape under the light of the moon and stars, only to be thwarted by a fear deep in my unconscious that robbed me of this pleasure.

The night duty that seemed a chore ended up being a gateway to a new inquiry and a profound journey to claim freedom over my fear of the dark and many other unconscious fears that had me caught somewhere short of realizing the opportunities and pleasures that life has to offer.

Along the way I learned a ton about how fear functions; how to track fears to their origins. I discovered ways to learn what our fears and doubts have to teach us, and how to free ourselves from the limitations they place upon us that forestall us from realizing our intentions and aspirations.

Throughout this Celestial Cycle, I will share what I learned in this journey. The inquiries and practices are designed to support you in coming to a deeper understanding of how fear (dis)functions in your life, and begin to shift your relationship to those fears that have you trapped somewhere short of where you long to find yourself in the landscape of your life.

The Power of Relationships

Relationships. They truly are the fabric of our lives. Everywhere I turn, they are at the heart of the conversation.

I hear myself addressing the tone in our teenagers voices, in terms of how the way we speak to each other affects the quality of our relationships. I observe how conversations with a friend who is in turmoil over a breakup centers around where the fabric of their relationship began to fray.

So many conversations I have had this year have been with people who love the nature of their work, but are miserable in their jobs because of the dysfunction in key relationships. What strikes me is that in each of these conversations, there are underlying issues with the way that the people involved are relating to themselves.

Tending to the health and well being of relationships takes time, attention, and energy. And, perhaps most essentially, tools and skills that many of us did not learn in our homes or other environments as we grew up.

Think about it for a moment.

Did the primary relationships of your family and close friends growing up reflect the qualities that you truly desire to experience in your relationships today?

Did the people in your life speak and act in ways that modeled how to truly navigate feelings, negotiate needs, and address differences of perspective on core issues to support intimacy and fulfillment?

What about the shows you watched and books you read?

I know that mine did not. As a result, as I approached adulthood, I was adamant that I would not get married or have children because I did not experience models of marriage and family that were appealing or instructive.

I have found that life has a way of edging us into the situations that will provide the context for us to evolve. In my mid 20’s I lived with the Vasquez family in Ecuador for a summer. This was the first household I had spent time in where the wife and husband had a connection and shared a relationship with their fledgling children. This experience began to soften my position on the idea of marriage and family. So much that within 3 years of that experience I was married and had my first daughter.

It wasn’t long before I realized that, although I had seen a model that seemed desirable, the models that I would emulate by default were the ones I experienced growing up.

When our daughters were toddling, I realized I did not have the tools and skills to create the kind of relationship I now felt was possible.

So I began to seek out knowledge and strategies to learn how to cultivate the quality of relationship I desired to experience and model for our girls. It has been a long and winding road (both externally and internally) and I have learned a ton.

This Celestial Cycle, I offer a series of self-inquiries to explore relationships with respect to Work, Self, and Family.

If you are interested in joining us in this process, please click here to add yourself to this particular email list. You will receive the practices in your inbox on the New Moon, Waxing Half Moon, Full Moon, and Waning Half Moon.

What Does the Coverage of the Solar-Eclipse Reveal about Us?

The widespread coverage of the mechanical details of the Solar Eclipse alongside symbolic/mystical interpretations of it illustrates the vast spectrum of understandings that form the foundations of our contemporary collective culture.

On one hand, we operate from a modern perspective that is mechanistic, impersonal, and objectifies the world around us. On the other, most of us relate, on some level, to the world in a way that is deeply subjective, mythic, and numinous.

In our modern scientific mindset we look at our earthly home and the cosmos in a way that is far different than the way that most humans in the history of the world have regarded their surroundings. We objectify our reality by drawing a distinct, definitive division between ourselves and everything else that exists around us.

At the same time, we all descend from a view that interprets the world around us in a more numinous way. A central aspect of being human throughout history is to seek understanding, insight, and transformation through our relationship with the world around us.  

Since recorded history humans have found something unifying (omnipresent), conscious (omniscient), and energetically powerful (omnipotent) existing in the world.

Whether a pantheon of Gods and Goddesses, one supreme God or a view of the universe and all it consists of as being ensouled, most of us share a common ancestral experience of our world as imbued with something divine.

While any people privilege one orientation over the other, I see both as equally valid and valuable. While I appreciate and utilize the practical application of the objectifying (scientific) perspective, I also experience the power of a ensouled perspective to support healing, personal insight, transformation and an enriched quality of life.

As I was growing up I felt pressure to adopt the that mindset that there one “right” way to believe, think about or make sense of the world. I found this perspective of exclusivity of interpretation intellectually incomplete, socially divisive, and spiritually deadening.

As a seeker of understanding, healing, and personal evolution, I have spent decades diving into ways of perceiving, understanding, and experiencing reality. I am informed by scientific knowledge, nourished by philosophical inquiry and nurtured through mystical experiences.

I find the richest and most empowered experience through living in a way that honors in balance, a materialistic and mystical perspective. I recognize that I am a creature comprised of physical as well as symbolic material. I breathe, drink, eat, warm myself and take shelter in the world.

At the same time, I regard myself as an ensouled embodiment of the elements. I experience the intake of air as a opportunity to cultivate inner spaciousness, experience water as a source of emotional cleansing, align with the bounty of the earth in gratitude and a sense of potential for manifestation, regard fire as a means of transformation.

Are You On Your Own True Path?

"You must train your intuition. You must trust the small voice inside which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide." - Ingrid Bergman

Have you found yourself kicking yourself because you privileged an internalized message or followed someone else’s advice rather than doing what you knew was right for you?

We are all born with keen intuition with respect to what is truly right and good for us. As we grow, most of us are pulled away from living according to our inner guidance. Myriad forces including family norms, relationship dynamics, the marketplace, religion, dominant culture, social expectations, and the 24/7 nature of our lives bear down upon us.

We orient our lives outwardly to respond to others, in a world full of stimulus that can overwhelm our senses and drown out our already shushed inner voice. Much of the time we do not even realize this is happening as it all seems so “normal.” Until we realize we are feeling physically unwell, energetically off balance, and emotionally drained by the way we are living.

However, there is a part of us that calls to us; a subtle voice that asserts and questions why we are doing what we are doing. We may follow the call toward change or we may turn away from our own knowing; which can lead to depression, anxiety, regret and fear. The consequences of not heeding the call of our inner voice can be subtle or quite intense.  

Years ago I began to notice a pattern in stories I was telling. In each instance, I was recounting ways I had privileged someones else's opinion over my own sense of what was right for me, and suffered. The process of beginning to understand the voices and assumptions that I had privileged over my own inner voice of intuition has been a challenging, rewarding, and transformative.

A survey of wisdom teachings from different traditions reveals several keys to attuning to our intuition. First, to be aligned and guided by our intuition, we need to cultivate a depth of presence and quality of perception that support this natural process. Second, we must listen within by spending time with ourselves in mindful ways. Third, engaging in self-inquiry to uncover why we do not attune to our inner guidance raises our awareness of how we undermine this natural process, so we can shift that inner dynamic.

When I began practicing these approaches to life, I began to see how I had learned to mistrust my own inner guidance. As I learned how I had internalized limiting beliefs, associated with experiences of emotional challenge and what I was taught were “normal” and “worthwhile” ways of living/being, I began to see how I could shift toward a place of true freedom to chart a course to realize my soul's aspirations.

If we do not become conscious of what distorts our perception of our circumstances and our relationship with our intuitive guidance, we continue being led by external forces that may not support the expression of our authentic gifts, our soul’s fulfillment, and evolution in this life.

In this Celestial Cycles process, as the Sun traverses the constellation of Leo, we will engage in inquiry to explore our relationship with intuition, self-expression, and personal will. To stay engaged in this process, follow the posts this cycle on Evolving Mindfully Facebook page or Instagram.

Being as an Act of Peaceful Revolution →

Being as an act of Peaceful Revolution

One of the great ironies of modern society is that for all the wondrous “advancements” the West has packaged and sold the rest of the world, our quality of life continues to decline. On the whole, we are increasingly overworked, stressed, exhausted, ill, anxious and depressed.

So many of us strive and strain only to find ourselves unfulfilled by our work place dynamics; out of balance in our relationships with ourselves and family; bewildered by our culture; estranged from the environment and even our own bodies.

As Newton noted in his laws on classical mechanics, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. During the decades that Western material and cultural exports have been streaming abroad, Eastern Philosophies and Practices have been quietly flowing into the West.

While they may seem "foreign" or "strange" to a Western perspective, many curious minds find actionable means to break out of draining and detrimental patterns in these wisdom traditions.

A basic tenet of both the Yogic and Buddhist philosophies is as simple as: being with the breath. This cornerstone of these traditions takes shape in myriad methods of pranayama (breath work), meditation/concentration and asana practices. When the quality of awareness experienced in these methods is sustained while we are engaged in the activities of life, it is often referred to as mindfulness.

The emphasis on being contrasts with the Western orientation toward doing. Being places emphasis on focused presence and observation, which is a radical act in a culture that is preoccupied with fixing, numbing, coming, going, striving, celebrating and moving on to the next best thing.

Being falls outside of the mainstream paradigm because it directs our attention away from the common marketplace that orients us toward comparison and longing toward inner space where we get in touch with what we truly feel and need, with respect to our holistic wellbeing.

Being is rebellious in that it calls us to shift from an external orientation (in which we refer to others for our sense of self) toward an inner understanding of ourselves. 

In being with ourselves we learn: who we are; what we deeply need and desire; why we are here; and what gifts are ours to develop and share. 

Several key benefits of practicing being are:

 Self-regulating our nervous system to experience less stress

Awareness of our minds

Finding more balance in the different areas of life

Empowered understanding of our and others needs and desires

Higher quality and more intimacy in relationships

Greater inner peace

Practices of presence is a term I like to use for a variety of exercises (including myriad form of meditation, mindfulness, journaling, breath work…)  that center and ground us in intention and bring our attention to a point of clarity.

Those of us who commit to simple consistent practices of presence experience a place of inner connection. Developing the ability to be fully present to ourselves through simple age old practices enables us to engage with our bodies, minds, emotions and souls holistically.

With practice we experience how whole bodied being brings a depth of presence to ourselves and our world that connects us to our own soul’s perspective. Then, from this place of inner awareness we can meet others on a more soulful level.

The deeper empowerment in being is that it ultimately leads us to profound soulful engagement with ourselves and others, which supports processing the lessons in our life experience, expression of our authentic gifts and a quality of fulfillment we all desire.

NEVER in my wildest dreams...

NEVER in my wildest dreams would have imagined I would become a professional astrologist! 

Here is why I have:

We come into this world with a unique nature. We are open, curious, hungry for life, and human connection. We meet our “nurture” (the circumstances of our life) and thus begins a formative process. The development of our identity unfolds at the intersection of our innate nature and the contextual nurture that reflects the conditions of our family, community, religion, culture and political paradigm. 

In the messages of our caregivers, the tenants of our culture, the dogma of our religion, the opinions of our peers and our position in the political context, we can lose the unique essence of our nature. As we internalize the context of our lives, our authentic voice, our soul’s perspective, our creative urges and heart’s desires can be obscured or distorted. 

We feel this and it pains us, whether consciously or unconsciously, we long for something else and seek outside of ourselves to find what is missing. Looking to uncover our authenticity and essence, we look for an accurate reflection of our genuine nature and our inner knowing in people, places, philosophy and things. The reflections we find are most often incomplete, inaccurate or filtered through others’ projections.

While I do not understand how it works, just like I do not understand fully how genetic science works, I stand in awe of the accuracy and insight of the astrological perspective in reflecting the “nature” of our psyche, the dynamics of our thinking and emotions, the purpose of our soul’s journey and our lessons in this life. 

In my experience with myown chart and in interpreting others, I have come to see astrology as the DNA of our psyche. Each natal (birth) chart is like a blueprint of the soul’s landscape in this lifetime. Just as we are individual and unique, a natal chart will not repeat for 24,000 years. 

Within the intricate dynamic system of astrology as articulated by philosophers, observers and explorers of the human psyche and cosmic landscape over thousands of years, I find it to be angle for peering through the layers of “nurture” into the “nature” of myself and others. 

A skillful astrological interpretation:

• fosters compassionate awareness of our deepest nature
• imparts insight into the ways we lose ourselves in the context of our lives
• supports clarity regarding internal patterns that trip us up
• yields directives for manifesting our gifts
• offers perspective on our life lessons and purpose

Astrology is powerful because it provides a dynamic and holistic lens on our lives; a view into our unconscious.  With this angle of perspective we are empowered to heal our wounds, lean into our strengths, manifest the intimacy we crave and give ourselves permission to be who we came here to be.

Astrology is a game changer for those who truly long to take the reins and navigate their course skillfully toward the direction of their purpose in this lifetime. Through this lens we bring what rules us on the unconscious level to the level of conscious awareness where we can utilize this potent material to fuel our personal development and spiritual evolution. 

This is why I have become an astrologist. It would be my honor and joy to offer you this perspective and support you in seeing into yourself through the eyes of the soul. 

Listening Deeply

Last month I shared that this year's inspiration, practices and offerings will chart a path to support the process of clearing, listening, aligning with and devoting ourselves to our Soul’s urgings.

As we engage in clearing the way, we are better prepared to listen deeply. Ancient dissectionists spoke of the auditory nerve being divided into three pathways. They deduced that the ear was designed to hear on different levels with respect to:

Mundane conversation 

Apprehension of learning and art

Listening to the Soul itself for guidance and knowledge

While modern anatomy and physiology provide a mechanistic explanation of hearing, considering the point of view of early scientist and philosophers, provides a more nuanced perspective to orienting ourselves toward deep listening. Given this we may ask:

How often do I attune to listen deeply within?

When we do listen within we may confront myriad messages that are contradictory. Considering this we may ask:

    How well do I distinguish the source and relevance of the inner voices that inform my feelings, thoughts and actions?

To draw this distinction, it is helpful to reflect upon the aspects of the psyche that are referred to as the Ego and the Soul. 

The Ego is preoccupied with the material aspects of life: safety, psychical comfort, security, status and pleasure. Interested in the freedom to satisfy needs and material desires, it preferences individuation and independence. The voice of the Ego reflects the part of us that thinks in terms of avoiding struggle, discomfort, judgement, risk of failure and loss. It often express in ways that are defensive, reactionary and shortsighted.

The Soul is oriented toward wisdom perspective: ethical considerations, genuine intimacy and holistic wellbeing. The Soul charts a path toward personal/spiritual development, urging us toward vulnerability, challenge and/or discomfort, in order to learn and grow. The voice of the Soul speaks to us through inner guidence that transcends the cultural (material and dogmatic) and temporal context of our lives. The soulful voice takes the longview, leading us to our growing edge to realize our potential in this life. 

We all need a healthy Ego. The key is to not let the Ego perspective run our inner dialogue. Learning to distinguish mindfully between the Ego and the Soul with respect to our feelings and thoughts is essential. Drawing this distinction helps us to make choices that align with our holistic wellbeing and personal growth.

In the coming weeks, I invite you to practice the art of deep listening. Try one or both of the following practices. The first being a simple exercise in listening within; the second an exercise in distinguishing between the Ego and the Soul perspective.

Carve out an hour or two to take a walk alone in nature. As you walk breathe deeply and listen with full attention to the sounds of the outer landscape. Find a place to sit with your back to a tree or lie on the ground and open the ears of your heart, listening to the inner landscape. Alternate between listening outside and inside. 

When you feel intensity arise, take time aside and find a quite space to drop into your body through deep breathing and tuning into your senses. Either writing in a journal or recording in a device, give voice to the Ego and the Soul with respect to a situation that is challenging you or a question you are working through. Speak or write from the point of view of both the Ego and the Soul, giving equal time to both voices. 

Inner listening is a skill that involves and engages all of you. Orienting ourselves toward this third level of listening allows us to discern which voices to simply listen to with an ear toward compassionate self-awareness. Within the inner spaciousness that arises when we mindfully observe our inner landscape, we can discern where to put our attention, attend to our wounds, address essential needs, take action, be still, let go, challenge ourselves...

As we become adept at listening to ourselves and orienting toward the Soul, we can extend this skill to how we listen to others. Engaging in these practices personally is of service to our partners, families, peers and communities: for the collective is a reflection of each of us as individuals.

As always I would love hear how this material lands and lives in you. Please share your thoughts or ask questions so I may better serve.

The process of mindful evolution is ongoing and cyclical. Clearing the way is a central practice to navigating within to connect to our soul’s urgings. I invite you to circle back to "Clearing the Way" when you feel blocked in your ability to go within.