How are YOU getting in your own way?

My experience is that healing is not something we "do" it is something that we "allow".

What we can do is engage in personal inquiry to identify where we are stuck in patterns that forestall healing.

We can identify judgments, resistances, predispositions and prejudices that keep us from connecting with people, considering ideas and engaging in actions that can support our healing.

In other words, we can figure out how we are getting in our own way and engage a willingness to let go that healing often requires.

In Evolving Mindfully, one of the strategies we use to break patterns is taking clear symbolic actions.

These send strong inner signals and generate shifts in the underlying beliefs that keep us bound.

For example, we often resist getting wet in the rain.

Water moves things, it cleanses, clears and can even reshape the material world.

Allowing the rain to fall upon us while focusing on our willingness to let go of what we are holding onto that is forestalling our healing is a potent act that speaks deep into our unconscious.

If this symbolic act speaks to you, try it.

The next time it rains,
instead of reflexively

hiding under an umbrella
ducking your head
hunching your shoulders
or running for cover
(all symbolic of resistance)

turn your head to the sky
allow the rain to fall on you
feel the drops running down your face
breath deeply the fragrance of the rain
(all gestures of allowing)

invite a dissolution of
any idea, belief, preference, judgment
that is forestalling any healing
that is ripe to be realized within you.

See how you feel and please share your experience with me via connect@evolvingmindfully.com.

I would love to dive deeper with you in our Feel to Heal Sessions, more information here.

Are you Communicating and Expressing from a Place of Awareness?

In my Evolving Mindfully journey, active engagement with different texts of all kinds is essential. This conversation between Anand Giridharadas and Krista Tippet, is one that contributed to my evolving in my relationship with key language in my area of focus.


In his book, Girdiharadas calls upon those whose decisions shape the rules of the game, as well as, ALL of US, whose micro decisions support the macro playing field, to grapple with the underlying assumptions we operate from and their effect in our world.


One of the aspects of Girdiharadas’ orientation, which I deeply appreciate, is his attention to the power of language to define and structure our world.


Knowing this, I grapple with word choice because the symbols/metaphors common within the realms of personal/collective growth, spiritually and evolution are so subjectively laden.


I am acutely aware that each person encountering something I write or say will understand the terms I utilize differently depending on their personal, familial, cultural, demographic, spiritual and/or religious background and predisposition. 


I like this challenge because it pushes me to clarify the essence of what I desire to communicate.


One word choice that was prevalent in Girdiharadas and Tippets conversation is one that I have been wrestling with and have consciously decided to change my use of within my lexicon. 


Girdiharadas’ uses “darkness" as a symbol for what I understand in this conversation to be our human capacity to engage in ways, individually and collectively, that give rise to suffering, are destructive and undermine what many of us would say we actually desire for ourselves, our families and communities.  


Within this understanding, I wholeheartedly support his call for us to inquire into what he calls an “underdeveloped sense of human darkness”.


I agree that venturing into the part of our individual psyches to identify ideas, beliefs, habits and patterns that perpetuate conditions that DO NOT SUPPORT what we actually desire to be, feel, experience or perpetuate is essential to conscious evolution. 


This exercise is central to everything I share through Evolving Mindfully because it helps us to eliminate that which undermines what we most desire to see flourish.


In communicating this aspect of self-awareness, I initially used the language of “dark” and “light” too. 


When I listened to this conversation I was already in a conversation with myself about the fact that this was an unexamined choice. 


I was realizing that I used “dark” and “light” because they are the metaphors handed down through the wisdom lineages I work within as well as the popular culture. As symbols, they functioned well and for years felt fairly neutral to me. 


My use of “dark/darkness” has been related to a call to inquire into those aspects of ourselves that we relegate (consciously or unconsciously) to the recesses of our psyches and the inner workings of our minds.


When we explore our unexamined assumptions/stories/belief/emotional patterns, which have the capacity to do and often do harm or reinforce what is contrary to our stated intentions, we come into greater awareness. 


Awareness gives rise to an opportunity to alter our thinking, speaking and acting.


From a place of awareness, we can come into alignment with what we fundamentally aspire to express and bring into being.


It felt somewhat ironic that, in my own journey to examine the unexamined places in my psyche, I come to understand how this dark/light dichotomy and symbolism actually contributes to a racist paradigm (NOT SOMETHING I WANT TO SUPPORT) in ways I did not realize.


As I was pondering this, I just happened to watch Spike Lee’s Malcom X on a flight. It was interesting that (according to this film) the first thing Baines, who mentored Malcom X in prison, had him do was look up the words "white" and "black" in the dictionary. 


The way this scene spoke to what I have in the last many months come to an awareness of with respect to the light/dark linguistic dichotomy felt synchronistic. 


It illuminated from another angle the way this dichotomy functions as an edification of light/white and a debasement of the dark/black that linguistically reinforces racism based on color. 


As a result, I am committed to finding other terms to communicate what “dark” and “light” has symbolized in my offerings and ridding my work of this historical/cultural coding. 


In the process, I am enriched by looking for terms that capture the essence without carrying the racial coding. 


I believe it will actually add sharpness and precision to the ways that I communicate and reference what I heretofore used “light” and “dark” to symbolize. 


Further, I am committed to bringing attention to it where I can, which may be quite an endeavor as the use of these metaphors is ubiquitous in the realms of personal and spiritual evolution. 


As we move into this “season of light” I felt it was an opportune time to address this aspect of Evolving Mindfully and the commitment I am making within the context of our offerings. 


I would LOVE to hear what this evokes in you and if you have suggestions for words that might replace the following terms in the lexicon of Evolving Mindfully. 

Speaking Out: The Relationship between Personal Choice and Collective Change

Deep bow to Lauren O'Connor who followed her conscince to file a memo sharing her experiences and concerns about the culture within the Weinstein company. The lead of that memo was the crack that let to the dismantlement of the wall of power, money and silence that protected a predator.

Mindful evolution is a personal way engaging with life circumstances that affect the collective. The mindful approach that Lauren O’Connor takes with respect to what she witnessed and experienced at the Weinstein company offers an example of the relationship between personal choices and collective change.

Amy Goodman sat down with O’Connor for a thorough interview from Sundance where the film, “Untouchable”, which gives voice to the violations against human dignity and personal sovereignty Weinstein’s power and wealth covered.

Her thoughtful consideration of the essential social issues at play, the immense professional and personal cost and challenges that she has paid and the policy considerations are valuable.

I hope her insights into the systemic changes that need to be made to bring equity into the relationships between all humans in their basic rights to dignity, sovereignty over their own bodies, consent and protection to speak out when these aspects of their being are violated get a wide audience.

I hope many of her points are taken up as aspects to focus on within the media round this film rather than the grisly provocative shocking details of the violations Weinstein and others like him are exposed for and may stand trial for that so often are the focus of media coverage.

Here are a few of O’Connor’s points that feel particularly are important to meditate upon individually and collectively as we digest all that is being presented on this case and others like it.

On the paths to speaking out:

It is interesting I think because sitting where we sit today…there seem to be two paths when it comes to standing up to abuse standing up to power. One is localized and a little more private you go to the localized powers that be hat you think will be able to effect immediate change as we already discussed you are often left wondering if any change occurs and are also often silenced. The other path is public and whether you move forward on a private path or public path it is a devils trade. And, I think, when you are positioned publicly it is difficult to conceive just how high the cost of courage is and just how literal the tax on integrity is."

On the cost of coming forward:

“I have hundreds of thousands of dollars of bills that I cannot pay from the last year and a half…there are a lot of legal situation surrounding this… that have required legal support… and in therapy, which is crucial to weathering this and recovering from it. I am in debt and I am employed FT in a good job. There is a real personal cost to all this. When you choose to go public or are made public regardless of whether you do or don’t not have power platform you are thereafter defined by a single instant you are called a victim or survivor called or whistleblower or compliment you have to then operate for the rest of your life every time you walk into a room, whether it is a business meeting, a first date or making a new friend you have to assume that that one moment of your life proceeds you. That someone has already decided who you are.”

“It is ironic, we are in a moment right now that is about consent, ownership of voice, its in direct protest to objectification and yet when you are made into a public figure you risk being objectified all over again by a label.”

On the empowerment and power of solidarity:

“I am so grateful for the women who came forward from the bottom of my heart…. If you are a powerful media figure you can bury one story, you cannot bury hundreds of stories… the solidarity provided by each women who cam forward protected me too.

One of the most beautiful things we have seen happen over the last year and a half is…Rape is often a word associated with shame. We have seen the word rape come out of the closet and in place of shame there is solidarity.”

On the need for social/policy change:

“What I would love to see next is policy to rise to meet social change…. What I think men and women are standing up for a system to protect the abused and not the abuser.”

“Power operates on multiple levels. It operates in professional hierarchy you have juniors seniors presidents CEOs COOs, media (do you have platform, do you have voice, do you not have platform do you not have voice ) power operates across finances (do you have money do you not have money), and it operates across gender. So when we talk about Harvey Weinstein being stacked at 10 and me stacked at 0 those are the measurements.”

“I am really grateful to see due process at play here. But, I also do not think that one man losing his job or going to trail means that the whole world has changed. I think what people we are seeing men and women alike standing up for here and through the whole me too is for the system to change. And a system to change in that it protects the abused and not the abuser and a system that resets the balance of power.”

Amy Goodman is one of my absolute heroes! I am so grateful for her thoughtful in-depth coverage of so many issues the are not covered in the mainstream media and aspects of issues that the mainstream does not address in their coverage of many stories.

Thank you Democracy Now! for holding the highest standards for journalistic reporting, rather than spin or soundbite circulation that dominates.

Silence, Stillness and Speaking Out

I wanted to offer something this week in this potent moment in our cultural landscape, our societal landscape, our political landscape.

There is a lot that is surfacing and has been for a long time. As I have been sitting with all of this, I have really been taking the opportunity to weave in the practices that I offer in many different settings.

Recognizing that we all have places and spaces in our lives that we are silenced and have been silenced, much more silenced than we actually realized. The presentation of the things that are out there right now can be very triggering, people are having re-traumatization.

My orientation with Evolving Mindfully is to support you to feel into your own lenses and own layers of experience around anything, so that you can find inner silence, stillness, and from there become very clear on what your “Speak Out” is in this moment.

Each and every one of us has a valuable perspective.

So much in this moment is about the idea of discernment and deliberation. This Supreme Court role is one where we are expecting whomever who occupies it to be above and beyond. To have developed their skills of discerning and deliberating to such an extent that they can approach something that really considers all of the different layers with respect to a higher standard, the intention of the Constitution. The Constitution lays out the values that it intends to provide a framework for the realization of those ideas and values.

That is really what Evolving Mindfully is all about. It is about us, as individuals, really being in tune to what our personal Constitution is. What are the values and the intentions that we are measuring, our own internal responses to things as well as external things.

It is with that in mind that I wanted to provide a short exercise that would support you, if you really want to explore what is coming up in this moment or what is coming up for you in another area of your life, you can use this exercise to apply to anything.

I recommend having a pen and paper at hand. The idea of this is to take a moment to draw back, to be silent and to silence yourself and take this stillness to look within.

How do you respond to “bad” news from or about someone you love?

This week I received an inquiry through Evolving Mindfully from a man who asked how he could respond to a friend who shared with him a concerning health diagnosis. He wanted tips on how to respond and send healing energy to his friend. 

I was touched by the care and loving intention in his question and told him I would address it and provide a practice this weekend for the community because my guess is he is not alone. 

As I sat with this inquiry, it resonated with conversations I’ve had with myself and then with our daughters over the last few months. 

The first was when got the call that my husband had collapsed on the way to work and was in the ER. As we navigated several days of uncertainty followed by his procedure and healing process, I turned my attention to applying the principles I share in my work to meet this crisis  in our lives because that is the entire point. 

If the practices fly out the window when we are pushed up against the wall, what good are they anyway!

Then, when I learned that family friends would be announcing a divorce, I sat with how to prepare our daughters to receive and respond when someone they love shares something about their life that is challenging.

My intention was to support them to consider how to respond in a way that sensitively creates space instead of imposing an interpretation that might actually make their friend feel worse. 

At its core, Evolving Mindfully is centered around a responsive, rather than reactive approach, to life.

As I sat with these questions I was also tuning into media, movies, TV, music and really hit me just how countercultural a responsive mindful approach is in our mainstream culture.

While it has not been easy to swim upstream, I had no choice, REALLY. After I received the call that my father had taken his life, learning to respond rather than react became a matter of sanity and survival because I was not sure I could take any more traumatic life events given that they triggered me to reactively numb myself with food, alcohol and other escapes from my actual life. 

If I would not have devoted myself over the next decade to respond to the subsequent traumas that I’ve experienced, I truly believe I would either be dead or so checked out and messed up that I would have wished I was. 

This is why I am committed to sharing what I have learned to help others mindfully navigate the stresses and traumas of life in ways that allow them to respond and care for themselves and those they love to hold space for healing and growth through challenge and change.

I offer this practice to support you to mindfully process disconcerting news and to extend supportive energy to the loved one that is involved.

Are you Exercising your Willpower to Realize a Life of Joy, Vitality and Creative Manifestation?

New Moons are time for release and intention setting; times to refine how we are manifesting the attributes and energies associated with the signs involved. Eclipses are times of shift and change that play with perception of light and dark, calling us to new levels of perspective and choice. Solar eclipses magnify the energy of a New Moon in ways that when harnessed intentionally provide powerful catalysts for healing, growth and realization.

When we work intentionally with the energies at play we have an opportunity to utilize them as a part of an approach to life that is responsive rather than reactive. 

This New Moon in Leo, which exemplifies raw life force energy, playfulness, joy and creativity expressed through willpower is concurrent with a partial solar eclipse, conjunct with Mercury, aspects Neptune in Pisces and Pluto in Capricorn, and squares Jupiter in Scorpio. 

In translation, we are looking at an energetic opportunity to drop in deep to our ability to exercise our free will to bring into awareness and clear material from the subconscious that is inhibiting our ability to experience joy and exercise our creative energy. It is a potent opportunity to rise to the next level of spiritual insight and professional growth. 

For anyone who is observing the rhythms of the solar and lunar cycles in intentional ways, this New Moon provides a powerful moment to realize that which holds you back from celebrating who you are and realizing the potential in you to live a life of verve and vitality.

These energies will be exemplified for anyone who has planets in their natal (birth) chart that aspect the positions of the planets in the signs of Leo, Scorpio, Pisces or Capricorn. Those of you with strong conjunctions or aspects to the planetary positions in the New Moon may be experiencing external/internal shifts and changes that bring this questions to the fore. (Knowing the placement of the planets at the time of your birth is part of a natal chart interpretation that can provide deep insight to navigate life mindfully.)

To prepare for this New Moon, begin to observe your thoughts, feelings and actions in the next week with respect to your life force energy and willpower. Consider what you can unload in order to let your creative, playful energy flow.

Where are you holding onto ideas, fears or beliefs that block the flow of joy, playful expression and willpower? 

Consider creating a special personal or communal ritual to unburden yourself and redirect or recommit your will to follow the path that the joyful, curious vibrant child within would take. 

Are You Too Old to Be Mothered?

In our modern society, the idea of “mothering” oneself may seem quite quaint, however, it is a potent prescription for wellness and self-actualization.

For many of us there is a lot to be attended to in order to reconcile ourselves with the experience of being “mothered” in the ways that support our wellbeing.

“Mothering” is both an individual experience of how the person we identify as our “mother” fulfilled that role as well as an archetypal ideal of care that is central to our ongoing emotional nourishment regardless of our age or stage of lives.

Sitting in group circles and engaging in processes of healing, empowerment and transformation with individuals of both sexes, I am acutely aware of the complex and formative nature of our “mother” relationship. I hold with great care the way this relationship sets the tone for how we approach ourselves on so many levels.

Our relationship with the person who “mothered” us and the way we ultimately “mother” ourselves and those we care for is layered. It is as critical as it is complicated, for it has far-reaching implications on our personal wellbeing, how we care for others and how we actualize who we are in the world.

Reflecting upon our relationship with our own “mother” as well as what attributes we associate with “mothering” helps us learn how to better provide for ourselves the nourishment, emotional attunement and self-care that supports us in living fully, authentically and navigating our lives centered and skilled.

This Celestial Cycle we will focus on our relationship to 'mothering'. We will explore the way we relate to our personal mother figure as well as the archetype of the “Mother”.

Over the next 4 weeks, I will offer perspectives and inquiries to support a view into you through these vital relationships.

Engaging in this journey will support insight on your approach to nourishing yourself; your capacity to emotionally attune to and care for yourself and others; your ability to communicate mindfully; as well as your approach to actualizing our aspirations.

Our ability to communicate with emotional integrity, clarity and compassion has deep implications on our wellbeing and relationships. 

I am passionate about creating spaces to engage in personal inquiry and potent practices to support Self-Mastery.

Join me Sunday, July 24th at 8pm ET for a Self-Mastery Session on Conscious Communication. 

How are You Exercising your Creative License?

As we are exploring curiosity and making the connection to creativity in this Sun Cycle, it is important to consider the idea of “license” as it is what we exercise to follow our curiosities and create ours on our own terms.

Every archetype holds energies, attributes and characteristics that can express in positive/creative and negative/destructive ways.

The curiosity and creativity associated with Gemini are neither bad nor good.

It is our relationship to them and the way we exercise them that determines whether they support wellbeing or suffering in our lives.

The idea of a license holds this so well. As you read through the definitions of license the spectrum emerges:

1. Formal or official permission to do something

2. Writer or artists freedom to deviate from facts and conventions

3. Authority to behave as one wishes, especially in a way that results in excessive unacceptable behavior

4. A reason or an excuse to do something wrong or excessive

There is so much to be gained from giving ourselves a license as the creatrixs and creators of our own lives. At the same time, there is a risk that we might abuse our authority.

The key is to acknowledge that with authority comes responsibility, which is why I orient toward this definition offered in the Thesaurus:

“You have license to make changes; permission”

If you have not accepted creative license with respect to your own life, now is the time.

If you have and have been exercising your authority in ways that have lead to abuses of yourself and others. Now, is also the time.

Now is the time to give yourself permission to make change. To take your creative license with respect to your life and exercise it with courage, curiosity and mindfulness.

Take some time to go into the quiet reflection that New Moon energy offers. Light a candle and get curious about your relationship with the creative license in your life.

If you acknowledge that you have not really taken ownership of your creative license in any area of your life, explore what it would mean to do so. What conventions might you challenge? What might you give yourself permission to explore or alter in order to exercise freedom to create a life that more fully reflects your wellbeing and intentions?

If you acknowledge that perhaps you have taken it a bit too far in exercising your right to ignore the facts and break the rules and it has lead to suffering you are ready to address, ask yourself what it would mean to take responsibility and begin to reign yourself back within the realm of what is contributive to your wellbeing and intentions.

Chances are either way this exploration leads, there may be a conversation that needs to be had in order to make the changes that feel necessary. Join me on June 24th for a Free Self-Mastery Session on Conscious Communication: Nourish your Relationships, Expand Time and Free-Up Energy to Have more Fun This Summer!

Getting Curious about What is Under the Surface?

Astrology aspects (angular relationship between the planets in a chart) indicate either a confluence/flow of similar energy with varied characteristics and attributes OR where there will be tension/divergence of dissimilar energies that need to be reconciled.

All aspects call for our attention as they indicate places within our nature that hold great potential to be harnessed and applied in meaningful and effective ways. They also indicate accentuated or conflicting characteristics and desires that we would especially benefit from exploring mindfully.

When looking at the aspect that creates today's Half Moon, we’re looking at an aspect of tension and divergence. Gemini energy is outwardly oriented, verbally stimulated, endlessly curious and social. Pisces energy is inwardly oriented, energetically sensitive and philosophical curious.

Each energy seeks contrasting experiences; is attracted to different settings and is oriented toward unique ways of making sense of life. Depending on your natal chart you may find that one of these energies may be dominant in you or you may feel a tension between the two. You may also not relate personally, but care for someone who you see this in.

From an Evolving Mindfully perspective, it is not about choosing between or privileging one over the other. The empowerment is to take this astrological moment to reflect upon how these energies can work together to bring us into deeper integrity and authenticity.

An expression of true Self-Mastery that we can experience in this particular aspect comes from harnessing Piscean sensitivity and the urge to go within alongside Gemini’s curiosity and urge to communicate.

Bringing these energies together we can become skillful at mining our inner depths more objectively, connecting the dots and communicating emerging insights.

During this Half Moon, set aside some time to sit outside in the fresh air. See if you can get a view of the moon. Bring your phone so that you can use your voice memo app to freestyle verbally on the following prompts. Take some deep clearing breathes and simply sit with yourself. Give yourself permission to feel into anything that is alive in you and verbalize candidly and unfiltered what comes up as you explore this exercise.

One at a time read these prompts and then allow yourself to speak into the phone:

Where in my life am I feeling that there is too much of one energy or a divergence of energy that is causing stagnation?

How is this manifesting emotionally, physically, energetically and in my thinking?

Am I talking too much about and may not be dropping into the deeper layer to be curious about the cause OR am I ruminating internally and trying to avoid talking about it?

Is there something that I am not seeing or giving myself that would offer me support to bring balance; what have I tried, what am I curious to try; what do I sense might support me to engage this mindfully?

What is it Time to Reveal? Making the Most of this Movement Toward Truth...

There is a peaking surge in our collective to think differently about exposing what we have long-suffered to conceal.

Bringing secrets out of the closet and to speak our truth is a tide that has been rising steadily for some time. Like many movements, it began on the periphery.

I can remember the emergence of the first bare all talk shows when I was a child and full of curiosity. I was young and unaware of what a shift this was for individuals to publicly air information about their lives that inspired gasps of surprise, expressions of shock, and attracted eyeballs by the droves.

What I realize now was that so many who were glued to the television were there not so much for the surprise about what was being revealed, but the fact that it was being disclosed publicly.

Most might not have admitted that the “shocking truths” they were witnessing being outed were not so far from the “truths" locked in the closets of their own homes or buried among old relics in their family lineages. Rather than looking within, most of us either sympathized tearfully with the suffering souls or gawked at these “outliers” and enjoyed the show.

As the move to reveal has gone mainstream in ways that have become true movements, many are taking another look. There is great potential within this shift toward exposure to bring massive transformation. However, as a collective, we will not be equipped to hold space for the potential that we are witnessing unless we begin with ourselves.

It is time to get curious about what our role is in shifting the storylines we see by attuning to what is ours to share to break silences around issues that affect us and our communities.

This full moon magnifies the energies behind this wave of exposure. Gemini is the thinker and storyteller; think Lauren Hill, Anne Frank, Kendrick Lamar and Bob Dylan. Sagittarius is the seeker and truth teller; think Tina Turner, Richard Pryor, Jane Fonda and Mark Twain. Geminis ponder and communicate and Sagittarians are known for exposing what needs to be explored.

As these energies reflect off of one other, it is a prime time to explore what your relationship is to this movement.

Take some time this week and feel into the following questions in a spirit of curiosity:

Is there anything in you that you may be hiding that it is time to reveal for your own healing and transformation?

What does revealing, airing or exposing on your own terms mean to you?

What would it mean to expose it in a way that contributes to collective healing and transformation?

What would your mode or style be to share: a piece of visual art; a poem; a quiet conversation with a loved one; a song; a dance?

If you are curious about exploring this further, please join me on Friday to move through it in our JourneyDance of Curiosity and Communication or jump into our Self-Mastery Session on the 5th.

Step Out of the Staid Flow and Say YES! Book it, Sign up, Extend the Invitation...Open the Door...

Our lives can flow with the force of a great river in which individual tributaries merge into the larger body and things that once had a spark of originality and vivacity get watered down. We can find ourselves going with a flow that is not truly serving us or inspiring us in order to keep pace.

It is so easy to be carried along and fail to miss the turnoffs that might lead to the adventure or opportunity that will take us into new territory, where we might encounter a modality that heals an old wound; meet a delightful new friend or love interest; learn something that opens our mind to a new way of seeing; or try an activity that ends up bringing us years of pleasure.

Sometimes it is just the flow and pace of life that keeps us from venturing into those places and spaces that spark our curiosity. Sometimes it is that analyzing mind that finds all the reasons why not to do something and holds on to judgments and critiques that may not even ours!

Now is a prime time to ask yourself what is holding you back. The sun in Gemini, representing the inquisitive mind, is illuminating the moon in Virgo. Gemini is always interested in exploring the next idea or meeting the next interesting opportunity. Virgo is the archetype of the analyzer and carries the energy of the healer.

An analyzing mind wanting to direct us toward what will most contribute to our wellbeing can easily get overwhelmed by the flow of data (some of it really outdated) to take into account. Thus, we just might think ourselves out of following our curiosity.

Now is the time to ask yourself:
Is there a group or community you have been wanting to check out?

Is there a healing modality that you have been wanting to try?

Is there a yoga workshop or class you have wanted to jump into?

Is there a person who you know who radiates with qualities you admire that you have wanted to strike up a conversation with, but have talked yourself out of reaching out?

If you answer, yes!, to any or all of these, take this opportunity to get online and schedule it, book it, sign-up, extend the invitation… open that door.

If you are ready to expand your relationship with curiosity to bring inspiration and opportunity into your life join our Free Self-Mastery Session on June 5th: What Doors are Judgment and Inhibition Holding Closed in your Life?

This is exactly the kind of energy that can bring a deeper awareness and refinement to what might be the next inspiration, practice for teaching to take us into the next phase or stage our healing and mindful evolution.

Creating Space for Curiosity

Creating Space for Curiosity

What’s the first thing that you think of when you hear the word curiosity?

That it killed the cat?

I don’t know about you, but I was certainly discouraged from venturing too far as a child. Ideas, styles, music, books, careers, especially questions about why the people in our lives were doing things that seemed to be causing them pain.

It wasn’t the explicit warnings that were the most powerful, it was the implicit.

The sideways glances that were thrown when someone who was living boldly or creatively walked by. The way topics that everyone seemed to know, but you, were taboo (before you brought it up and the room went silent, until someone awkwardly changed the subject) were avoided. The way no one ever exclaimed THERE IS AN ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM! The way the channel was changed whenever someone came on who might do or say something that ran contrary to the opinions of those present.

There were very few people in my circle that I would describe as truly openminded.

These are not judgments of the people I love and care for, and who love and care for me well. They are observations that have been essential to opening my mind, healing my heart and expanding my world.

It is a candid sharing of what I’ve really come to understand as a principle that fuels awakening to broader more nonjudgemental perspectives.

Looking with objective curiosity and naming things plainly, with an eye toward deepening understanding, helps us to recognize their implications and impact. 

Getting curious about what may inhibit us from exploring other curiosities frees us to ask questions and follow subtle urges toward interests that lead to fuller understanding our gifts; enriching connections with people who are different than we are; new ways to express our innate creativity; and living with a sense of wonder and awe.  

This is why the guiding principle for Evolving Mindfully self-inquiries is:

No criticism, just curiosity.

And, why I am offering a free Self-Mastery Session to Create Space for Curiosity.

Making Peace with your Body and Relaxing into its Wonders!

This month, we’ve been considering the relationship we have with comparing ourselves to others; what jealousy teaches us about what we see in others that we either fail to recognize or we have not cultivated in ourselves. As well as, how we may have internalized the voices of others in ways that may cause us to hold ourselves captive.

Comparison is also important to address for the sake of our own bodies and our relationship to them.

Our bodies are us; we are them.

And, yet, we can live our lives completely disassociated with our bodies, making choices that reep havoc to our health and undermine our ability to experience the sensual pleasure our bodies make available to us.

We are so clearly our bodies and yet it is strange to me that we talk about them in an objectified way. Stranger yet, that we can create such a distance from our physicality by rejecting parts of ourselves; pushing ourselves to the point of exhaustion and injury and distancing ourselves from what our bodies are trying to tell us.

Comparing our bodies with other bodies and cultural standards of beauty is a big step that many of us take, quite unconsciously, away from direct experience of our bodies. It is a step toward the objectification of our bodies that undermines our wellbeing and distorts our relationship with sensual pleasure.

I cannot tell you how many BEAUTIFUL bodies I have sat in circles who are cut off from the sensual pleasures of food and true physical intimacy because of the ways they have internalized ideals of beauty they do not feel they conform to.

The highly competitive nature of our culture gives rise to pressure and anxiety that causes many of us to forgo sleep, reach for food to keep our energy up or to self-soothe or turn to other substances to maintain our energy, or otherwise self-medicate.

And the marketplace provides answers that offer quick fixes that further distance us from feeling and listening to what our bodies will tell us if we will only listen.

When we distance ourselves from the needs of our bodies and override its signals, we not only do harm, but we also rob ourselves of a level and layer of pleasure and enjoyment that being in a balanced relationship with our bodies brings.

The Taurus is known for having a long fuse, but for being a formidable contender when pushed beyond its limits of tolerance. When I think about the end of this fuse, a voice comes to me now from my youth, Susan Powter* screaming her message of “Stop the Insanity!” to millions.

While her fiery* energy is not the Taurus style, her call to turn away from the idea of programmed solutions and begin to think and feel for ourselves is.

Her basic questions are very Taurus in nature. She calls us back to the basics at heart of having a good relationship with ourselves that allows us to take true pleasure in this life. What are we eating? How are we breathing? How are we moving?

This New Moon in earthy Taurus, the archetype of grounded physical presence and love of sensual pleasure, is the ideal time to reflect on our relationship with our bodies. It is prime time to inquire how we can learn from listening to our bodies rather than judging them and trying to change them.

Try this New Moon in Taurus Practice:

Find a place to be in nature or sit by a window and look out into the landscape. Take deep cleansing breaths. Then, take a few more, slower and deeper extending the exhale. Set the intention to listen to your body. You may need to apologize for not listening to it for a while as you do. Then, ask your body the following questions, taking time to feel inside before you begin to write. Take a few deep breaths in between each question.

How does it feel about what you are eating? Are your food choices serving you?

Am I using the power of my breath to support the wellness of my body?

How does your body feel about the movement you have in your life?

Would it tell you to move more or less, would it ask for a different kind of movement?

Would it tell you to pick up the pace or slow down a bit?

How might you apply the willpower and persistence that Taurus is so famous for to honor your body, give your body what you truly need and take deep pleasure in you sensual nature?

When you are complete, take a moment to craft an intention for this moon based on what you learned from listening to your body. Consider how it can support you to take more true pleasure in being a body!

*Little astrology note, after Susan’s voice popped into my head, I looked her up and watched a few of her videos. Beginning to see deduce her astrology based on her presentation, I looked up her chart. Sure enough, Sun and Saturn in Sag, Uranus in Leo opposite Venus in Aquarius… I could go on. The accuracy of astrology never ceases to amaze me!  

Whose Voice Have You Internalized?

Working with Archetype to evolve mindfully calls us to take an Aquarian approach, which is to flip things, zoom out, look from all different perspectives, ask the bigger questions, within a liberatory quest.

This Sun Cycle we have been asking what our feelings of envy can teach us. And, as we look at how jealousy lives in us we must also consider how it affects us.

One of the most visceral and impacting experiences of my adolescence was being isolated and pulled aside at a party by a group of senior girls who surrounded me, got in my face and asked,

“WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE and why are you here when NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE?!?!”

In that moment, I literally internalized their united voice. For decades, anytime I would try to step out in a way that might draw the attention of other women or show up somewhere that my presence might shift the dynamic for women, I literally heard a voice inside my head assert, “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

It took conscious engagement and effort to unwind the impact of that moment and the fear it put in me.

In the process, I recognized how deeply ingrained it is in our cultural paradigm and social history for women (thereby girls) up to see one another as competition and try and bring other girls/women down.

Because these dynamics between girls and women are not directly addressed in the places I was seeking healing and personal growth, I had to take a indirect route. It took years of applying wisdom perspectives and practices to my life to track the source of this “who do you think you are?” voice.

A deep LONGING for sisterhood and creative collaboration with other women lived alongside this voice and moved me into situations that led me to confront it over and over.

Overtime, I was able to begin to undo the pattern by orienting toward compassionate self-awareness and applying tools to shift my perspective in moments that triggered the inner dynamics that this early encounter established. Overtime, I learned to depersonalize and establish a mindset that allowed me to free myself.

It took the Aquarian approach and Taurus willingness to stick with the work to see the results come to fruition to unwind the remnants of that old paradigm and buildout a personal paradigm defined by women to women engagement that is founded on collaboration, inspiration as well as a celebration of each other’s soul beauty, gifts and light.

Ultimately, this is the Aquarian energy that we are working with on this Waning Half moon.

Find space to reflect out in nature. Observe the beauty and abundance of the seasons. Take some deep breaths and free write to reflect upon the following questions.

Is there a “voice” equivalent to my “Who do you think you are?” that asserts in your mind?

Where does it come from?

How does it limit you?

Is it time to free yourself from the influence of this “voice”?

If you feel it is time to address anything that arose in this reflection with support, I invite you to consider our Transformative Empowerment Journey that begins on the New Moon, May 14th.

Are You Living According to the States of Being you Desire?

This full moon is a ripe opportunity to illuminate our relationship with desire. Scorpio’s key phrase is “I desire…” This archetype holds the intensity of our longings, emotional drives for sensation, privacy, power and transformation. Taurus’s key phrase “I have” is associated with our desire for material security, pleasure, comfort and control.

The power of understanding desire is reflected in the $44,000,000,000 plus dollars a year spent on market research globally. Much of this is focused on understanding what we desire (even deep in our subconscious) because desire is what motivates us to take action and to spend our resources.

My first lessons in this came as I ventured out into the world. Motivated by a deep desire for freedom and exploration, I graduated early from high school in order to peel out of my driveway the month I turned 18. I turned my wheel towards the symbol of adventure and independence that is the American West.

Looking for jobs in Denver, research opportunities would pop up now and then, offering a good return for a few days of work facilitating surveys.  It was eye opening to see that figuring out how to sell people what a company has to offer has little to do with the product itself. It has much more to do with tapping into what people desire deep down and somehow linking that to the brand.
 

Not only did this turn me into a more aware consumer, the power of desire stuck with me and sunk in overtime as I become more invested in my own healing journey.

Realizing how the powerful associations in the messages of advertisers had obscured my relationship to what it is that I desired, helped me to see how what I was consuming in the media reinforced a material focus. 

As I came to appreciate how key self-awareness is to personal empowerment, I came to better understand how desire lies is at the heart of transformation. I was able to begin to reorient from a desire "to have" framework to a desire "to be" based in deeper values and states of being.

Being aware (at least as aware as advertisers are;) that what we truly desire to have are not things, but states like well-being, connection, love, self-worth, appreciation, security, pleasure wonder and ______, is a key to empowerment.   
 

What most of us truly desire are feeling states, experiences, quality connection with ourselves and others. Over time I began to see just how much reaching for what the marketplace offered was an action taken based on a desire for something that having or consuming that thing would not satisfy.

It’s genius really, how advertising campaigns take us to the edge of envy or jealousy without going all the way. They masterfully veer us toward their product with our yearning fully aroused. The connection is implied in a way that the brain takes the leap, If I buy this, have this, I don’t need to be jealous because I can buy this and have “it” (the connection, happiness).

Unpacking this can help us to flip our relationship with our own understanding of what is behind our choices. Orienting toward states of being is game changing and helps make choices that are more likely to meaningfully and sustainably realize these states of being, which is the approach to empowerment and transformation I find the most powerful.  

When we come into a deeper understanding of what it is that we desire we can expand the realm of possibility with respect to what choices we can make; what can we bring into our lives; what might we need to weed out of our life to help us feel and experience more of the states of being that we long to realize and sustain.

Take some time on the high energy of this full moon to gain perspective on what states of being you most desire to experience.
 

You may choose to create space to be alone, find a spot outside, get quiet within yourself and free write anything this brings up for you.
 

Or/And,  you might be in the flow of a busy weekend doing what you normally do and just taking moments here and there to observe your state of mind, energy and emotions.
 

What are the qualities of experience the places and spaces you are in give rise to within you?

Do you find yourself reaching for something to enhance or numb anything you are experiencing?

Does this activity reflect and support your most desired states of being?

Do you ever think: if I had their _______, then I would_____?

While I agree with Theodore Roosevelt that “comparison is the thief of joy.” I have also learned that fighting, suppressing or denying it, is futile and counterproductive.

We all compare ourselves. It’s inevitable. It is the way we are wired to make sense of and order our world.
 

The trick is to learn to use our comparing minds to discern rather than judge; to draw out critical information that can serve us and others.

Envy is a distinct form of comparing that holds destructive power to sully relationships and opportunities, but if we approach it mindfully we can unlock its empowerment potential.

When we realize our comparison holds a tinge of covetousness, we can bring compassionate self-awareness to: 
 

• Free ourselves from the corroding effect of jealousy
• Figure out what it is truly telling us about what we are longing to express, presence and manifest
• Begin to shift our thoughts, feelings and actions to align with the values or aspirations our jealousy reveals

This waxing half moon in Leo holds the archetype of the bright, shiny, playful, dramatic, vibrant, fiery and willful spirit. While the Sun in Taurus exemplifies the practical, hardworking, earnest, determined, slow and steady willpower.

Together they hold two ends of the spectrum and remind us that envy often reveals contrast, which easily leads to judgemental comparison or bewildering jealousy.

When we stand on one side looking over in covetous admiration we can bridge the gap between discernment and judgment by coming into mindful personal reflection.

To support this process, I invite you into one of our Evolving Mindfully journaling exercises.

Take some time this weekend to sit with your journal and a few magazines or scroll through SM. Flip through and note any images, articles or posts that rouse envy.  

Stick them in your journal or note the main aspects of the post. 

Free write upon what this brings up in you, inquiring:

• What do the images or words you chose reveal about what you value and desire?
• Are their qualities held in the images that you think you do not possess?
• Are these qualities or experiences you can consciously cultivate?

Keep the process going during the week in real life situations.

Note through your day when you run into people or scenarios that bring a twinge of jealousy and work with them in the same way. 

The key is to gain insight into as well as take ownership of what it is that you value and desire to experience.

How Does Envy Help Guide You Toward Empowerment?

While feeling envious stinks, with compassionate self-awareness our most uncomfortable feelings and experiences become our greatest teachers.

Jealousy has the power to teach us what we truly desire.

Likewise, envy reveals to us the attributes and characteristics, which we see in others, but imagine that we don’t possess or have within us to cultivate.

While we may get on a superficial level, when we feel envy it is because we desire what someone else has, taking it to the next level of mindful awareness allows us to come into deeper engagement with what we truly desire to feel, express, experience and manifest.

Paying attention, raising our awareness and reflecting on our feelings of jealousy provides us with potent fuel for personal empowerment.

We may suppress feelings of jealousy to avoid confronting this discomfort.

When the truth is that attempts to avoid this kind of discomfort only delays the inevitable and keeps us stifled in our growth.

The good news is that engaging and learning from what lies under the surface is a skill of empowerment that we can learn.

I am passionate about mining the riches of our feelings and using these inner resources to create lives of passion, purpose and fulfillment.

This month throughout our Celestial Cycle Series (introduced below) we will explore how to flip feelings of jealousy and envy from enemies into teachers.

We will dive into the Evolving Mindfully approach to empowerment in a free webinar this Sunday, April 22nd.

Does this I statement fit?

Does this I statement fit?

I am empowered, energetic, take initiative, use my power wisely and express authentically.

If not, why?

When working with archetypes for growth, which is what we’re doing in the Celestial Cycles series, it is key to remember that characteristics of an archetype are in and of themselves neutral.

Whether we express them positively/creatively or negative/destructively is up to us.

With the new Moon in Aries, our focus is on how we are using our energy, initiative, power and personal expression with respect to the fundamental Aries inquiry of: Who am I (becoming)?

When we feel resistance to expressing authentically, lack energy, fear taking initiative or feel disempowered, it is time to reflect and take clear action.

Likewise, when we see ourselves always on the move and driving ourselves, feel overstimulated (or over using stimulants like caffeine and sugar), start things and not finish, use our power in ways that are manipulative, it is time to take pause and consider what would bring balance.

Aries is emblematic of empowerment.

When we are truly empowered:

We tend to our physical, emotional and mental energy with care.

We take clear action in the direction of our aims and follow through to reach our goals.  

We are confident in our abilities and take responsibility for our needs, feelings and desires.

We use our personal power mindfully, balancing our right to express authentically and pursue our aims with others right to theirs.

Take some time on this new moon day to get clear on one of these aspects, that of the Aries Archetype, that you would like incorporate to who you are (becoming) and plant a seed within you to cultivate it in the coming months. Continue throughout the week to notice situations where it most applies.

Then, jump on our Empowerment Webinar on April 22nd. We will explore empowerment as a mindset, gain clarity on our relationship to empowerment, and consider why it is important to cultivate empowerment in our lives.

What part of you is it time to claim and create space to express?

Our identities are closely tied with our egos, especially until we do our inner discovery and begin to presence from our Self (unique authenticity that arises through inner listening, self-awareness, acceptance and actualization) rather than our self (the identity that forms in large part in reaction to external influences and efforts to conform and fit in).


And, egos are very sensitive. It’s one of the things that causes so much suffering and hold us back so often from stepping into our authentic identity. 

I was reminded by a very moving moment at a Sanctuaries (if you live in DC and are not aware of the Sanctuaries check them out!) gathering just how much it really does take focused effort and personal support to help us move through our own reluctance to making time and space for activities that light us up and allow us to identify in ways that for many cultural based reasons we may feel reluctant to claim. 


A beautiful young woman was sharing a piece of writing that she did in an exploration of the theme of "rough drafts and moving beyond perfectionism". 


In her piece, she reflected upon how working through an exercise that a life coach offered, which encouraged her to stand in the mirror look herself in the eye and say “I am an artist.”, was so profoundly challenging.


She shared how terrified she was even thinking about confronting herself with this level of honesty and ownership over an aspect of herself that is clearly a part of who she is, but that she feels shy about owning, motivating and empowering. 


She shared how she has taken steps to reclaim her artistry and express her creativity since that session.

And, how she still has not been able to stand in front of the mirror, look into her beautiful creative eyes and say: I am an artist.


As she spoke, envision her painting, presenting her creations and getting feedback that felt affirming to her was heartening.


Still, am cheering for her enter the next phase of stepping into this identity where she would feel a sense of value in her own work that would surpass the need for external validation. I envision her as I write this standing in front of her mirror and claiming her identity as an artist with full confidence.


This story exemplifies Capricorn and Aries as they are holding the sun and the moon tonight in balance. The archetype of Aries, theWarrioress/Warrior who stands up in strength to support us in claiming who we are and presence the courage to bring it into full expression. The energy of Capricorn makes good use of the material of life to achieve what we are capable of when we know and express who we are. 
 

In the light of this half-moon set aside time to consider: 

What are you reluctant to claim about who you are?
What you hold back from creating time and space to pursue?
Why?
Is it time to create that space?
What would be one courageous action you could take to use your time, energy and resources to take that step?

It is not too late to join our free Self-Mastery session on the what, why, where and how of Transformation tonight at 8pm.