What is your Relationship with the Critics Around You and the One Within?

How we respond to criticism is key to exercising our freedom and expressing authentically in the world. Martin Luther King Jr’s ‘Letter from Birmingham Jail’ holds such wisdom for exercising freedom.

The letter itself exemplifies King exercising the freedom of his mind and ability to move others even while physically confined in a cell. And, within it, there are particular points that we can draw from to support our own liberation from whatever binds us.

In the opening of the letter he states, “Seldom, if ever, do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas. If I sought to answer all of the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would be engaged in little else in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work.”

This is such a golden nugget from a soul who was a wellspring of wisdom. Knowing how to handle criticism from within is critical to exercising spiritual and material freedom.

This half moon in Taurus, illuminated by the sun in Aquarius, is an excellent time to reflect upon your relationship with the inner and/or outer critic.

Taurus is a archetype that carries insecurity linked to the basic question “Am I doing it right?” Freedom loving Aquarius calls us outside of the box to consider what “right” really is in the first place.

Set aside a little time this week to look within for insight into how your relationship with critique may be stifling your own energy and spirits.

Is there someone in my life who criticizes me directly or indirectly?

How do I respond directly or indirectly?

Do I internalize their opinion of me in ways that undermine my confidence and zap my energy or am I able to let it go and keep going?

What is my relationship with the inner critic?

Do I criticize myself, if so, what are the kinds of things I say to myself?

Would I allow someone else to say these things?

Are there criticisms that are worth answering?

If so, what are the points in the criticism that I would benefit from when considering from different angles?

Keep these questions in mind as you move through the next week. When an inner or outer critique arises, use them to process and see what you learn.

I would love your comments and feedback if you use this practice.

I would be thrilled for you to join me for a Free Online Self-Mastery Session: Navigating Comments and Criticism: Actual and Feared, to assess how you can process comment and criticism to strengthen your resolutions and stay your course in 2018.

In this interactive self-mastery session we will explore:

• Awareness of how you respond to comment or criticism: actual or anticipated.

• Strategies to consider what you can learn from inner and outer critique.

• How to turn criticism on its head and recommit to your your authentic path.

The planets are aligned on purpose, are you?

Purposeful, self-motivated, directional dedication in service of love. This is the essence of this new moon in Capricorn.

There is such a concentration of energy in this new moon in Capricorn, which reflects the part of us that is striving for excellence, that wants to fulfill our duty and live on purpose.

It is as if the universe is screaming out to us to align what we love, our force of personality, our willpower, mind and sense of duty to serve a clear purpose.

At its most honorable, the Capricorn energy pursues excellence in service to the highest good of all. At it’s more egoic, it leads us toward the realization of ambition, without much regard for, the cost to other people, the planet or future generations.

As we reflect upon the message and dream of MLK, it is the perfect time for all of us to ask how we can get our acts together and serve one another.

Carve out a bit of time today to take a pause, reflect, refine and align.

Here are a few questions that I am reflecting upon today and invite you to consider too:

What are the top three reasons that I am doing what I am doing?

Who, what and how do my intentions for 2018 serve?

How important is it to me that I make a contribution to others?

How can my work more actively express love and concern for all?

Consider the answers to these questions in light of the resolution or intention you have set and modify your intention to incorporate the perspective you gain.

Appreciation, Acknowledgment and Reciprocation are keys to successful collaboration.

Appreciation, Acknowledgment and Reciprocation are keys to successful collaboration.

We do none of this alone. While it may feel easier at times to work in solitude and plug away under our own control and command (very Capricorn of me to say;), the reality is our lives are a collaborative effort, which any Libra can tell you.

Whether we explicitly define them as such, we are all operating in implicit partnerships in all areas of our lives. Bringing mindfulness to the ways that others contribute to our lives supports greater harmony in our lives.

If you have taken time to reflect and articulate resolutions/intentions for this year, chances are you have aims that will require the support of key people in your life.

As the sun in Capricorn illuminates the moon in Libra, which holds our pursuit of balance and harmony in relationships and group interactions, it is a great opportunity to assess your approach to the individuals that form your support network.

Set aside some time this week to invest in these key relationships by appreciating and acknowledging the contributions of the key collaborators in your life.  

Make a list of the key individuals whose support is essential to you in family, community and professional realms.

Write down three key attributes you rely upon and appreciate in these individuals.

Make a call or write a note to articulate to them the attributes that you appreciate in them and the ways you depend on them.

If you have not already, share with them the intentions you have set for this year and thank them in advance for the way their presence in your life supports you in realizing your aims.

Express your desire to reciprocate and ask if there is any way you can be a better support for them.

To support you in entering a new year with a new or deepened understanding of the Elemental way of thinking, I am offering a free Self-Mastery Session on Sunday, January 14th.

What are you Paying Forward in 2018?

This is a question worth centering a year around. 

As I consider this idea, I feel compelled to commit to paying forward emotional intelligence because everywhere I look, whether it is in the interactions with my family over the holidays or the communications between the leaders of our government, I see a deep need for each of us to take a higher level of responsibility to be aware of how emotions play into the dynamics of each moment.  

As you welcome the New Year, be aware that in the cosmos, there is a particularly potent confluence between feeling/emotional energy and the practical application of personal effort. The timing is ripe as we begin the new year to bring a higher level of awareness and skillfulness to our everyday interactions.

Every situation we are in is an opportunity to pay forward an act of presence and emotional intelligence that can make a substantive difference in our personal and professional lives.

When we do our own work to process feelings as they arise and ask what our emotional responses can tell us about what we and others might be needing, we pay forward a level of skillfulness that can shift the dynamics in our relationships and our world.

Balancing our personal desires and our emotional needs with the welfare of others requires reflection and discernment that we can learn to apply moment by moment.

Take some time in the next week to:

1. Simply pay attention to your emotional response in any given situation.

2. In the case of a more negative emotional response, this may be indicated by a desire to react strongly, defend, deflect, or blame. In the case of positive feelings, you may feel moved to compliment, praise, connect, reward. In either case, before responding take a breath, take note and simply name the feeling.

3. See if you can identify a need that may be behind the feeling, indicating a need that is currently unmet or a need that has been met.

4. If you can identify a need, state to yourself or share with someone near you. I am feeling _________ because I need________.

5. Likewise, observe feelings as they arise in others without judgement. Simply try to understand what the person is feeling and the need the feeling reflects.

6. If you feel comfortable, express empathy by simply taking a guess. Are you feeling _________ because you need __________ ?

This is a simple practice of emotional intelligence that you can use to soften potential frustrations and support sincere connection. Play with it as a way of starting the new year on a deeper level of commitment to paying forward a way of engaging that supports greater awareness and more mindful responses to life.

Stand in the Empowerment of Taking Responsibility

Self-authorization, self-assurance, and self-actualization backed by honest, assertive, initiating, courageous, confident energy, can arise out of a sense of self-righteousness OR be born of personal responsibility.

These qualities and energies are associated with the element of fire as embodied in the archetype of Aries, the warrior(ess) of the zodiac, that embodies courageous action capable of breaking old patterns and holding the strength that new growth requires.

It is easy and absolving of personal responsibility to think that it is the circumstances outside of us that are acting upon us and are responsible for what we are experiencing. Our parents, partners, teachers, colleagues, bosses, spouses, lovers, children, the institutions…. these are the things causing the problems in our lives.

While it may be more comfortable to keep the focus turned on the other, it is far less effective at impacting the quality of our own experience. The primary foundation of taking responsibility for the quality of our own experience is taking responsibility for our inner game.

With the Half Moon in Aries, illuminated by the Sun in Capricorn, it is prime time to reflect on how clearly we are owning and directing our energy and to what end. Take time with these inquiries to earnestly explore whether and how you identify with these qualities, energies, and underlying impulses.

Where in your life might you be engaging from a place of self-righteousness? This can be hard to admit to, but most of us do it and would benefit from shifting our focus. Taking responsibility and directing our words and actions with curiosity rather than conviction can change a situation that has been stagnant and entrenched for years!

Where in life are you avoiding taking personal responsibility and owning your ability to self-authorize and take action?

Consider which of these qualities you have a reaction to when you see them in others.

Which qualities cause you to regard them with envy? Why?

Which qualities do you admire? Why?

The sword of the warrior(ess) reflects the ability to exercise discernment to cut through illusion, to make clear and accurate assessments of ourselves and others, in order to direct our energy skillfully.

Thinking Elementally is all about understanding that the characteristics, attributes, and energies that we see in ourselves and others, in and of themselves, are neither positive or negative. It is the orientation that makes all the difference.

Join me on the 30th for an exploration of elemental thinking in during my Free Self-Mastery Session.

As the Sun begins its transit of Capricorn, I invite you into a cycle of self-inquiry intended to assess the state of your inner game. 

Capricorn, symbolized by the Sea-goat, holds an archetype that bridges the inner and the outer worlds. The Sea-goat embodies the ability to navigate the feeling, emotional, intuitive nature of the inner depths (Water), in combination with the characteristics of the mountain goat, whose steadiness, endurance, perseverance, self-sufficiency, and practicality are what its needed to navigate life's challenging terrain (Earth). 

Join me in this process of earnest reflection to identify where you can focus in 2018 to bring balance and skillfulness to your inner game. Our journey will center around gaining an understanding of how thinking elementally can support us to bring balance to the primary areas of our lives. 

The Elements form the basis of many health systems including Ayurveda and Chinese medicine as well as ancient psychology expressed through Astrology. When engaged actively, the Elements comprise a way of orienting toward self-awareness, self-direction, and self-actualization. 

This Celestial Cycle we will focus on the energetics of each element and the foundational areas of life. We will take a holistic approach and use the system of the Elements as a framework to learn how to assess and adjust our approach. 

To support you in entering a new year with a new or deepened understanding of the Elemental way of thinking, I am offering a Free Self-Mastery Session on the elements on the 30th. 

Choose to receive weekly Celestial Cycles inspiration, inquiries, and action steps to support yourself to enter 2018 awake and committed to your growth and the realization of greater balance, presence, and ease in your life.

If you know me, or have been following my writings for any period of time, you will know that commercialization, especially of the holidays, is a topic I have a perspective on. For a long time I let it get in the way of my ability to experience this season with joy.

There is a video that is both heartrending (maybe only to me) and hilarious (to everyone else) in which I was trying to share a sense of the meaning and spirit of this season with my family when our girls were very young.

In this video my entire family, who joins us during the holidays for a week, is sitting around the fire. I am attempting to relate to and share the transcendent illustrated story by N. Scott Momaday titled, Circle of Wonder. Momaday’s telling beautifully blends the Native American perspective with the experience of a candle lit Christmas service through the eyes of a mute boy named Tolo.

Suddenly my husband, who is holding our pug Norman on his lap, discovers that there is poop hanging out of ol’ Norms butt. Exclaiming this profound fact, he spins Norm around like a top for all to enjoy, stealing the show in America’s Funniest home video fashion.

I am shaking my head, giggling, and also feeling a bit tender as I write this, because it speaks to a deep longing carried in my journey to reclaim the meaning and the magic of the season.

This instance that will live forever in family lore reflects one of the many transformative moments I have experienced in my own quest to live in a way that expresses the pure awe I feel for life. In the many years that I have spent venturing deeper into my lineage and going on pilgrimage, literally and figuratively, I have rediscovered the spirit of the seasons through an ancient and holistic perspective.

My perception of the season has shifted and along the way I have received many gifts that have enriched and expanded my perspective. Sagittarius, the Wise Women of the Zodiac, who has learned through her adventures and seeking deeper truth, knows well that every journey holds its gifts.

Looking at life through a lens of symbolic literacy and self-inquiry embodied in astrology and archetypal psychology is a gift that continues to give. Through this understanding, I have been heartened by the mythical aspects of life that all humans share and come to appreciate that the gifts we receive in our personal quests are both specific to us and universal in their reflection of the evolution of consciousness.

Signs indicating that in spite of our sense of being lost, we are right on track. Help arriving at just the right time to get us through a challenging pass. A delightfully useful treasure, popping up in the most unlikely of places. The discovery of a sensual pleasure that restores the sweetness of life. And, of course, those serendipitous meetings with soul friends and fellow sojourners that you sense you have journeyed with many times before.

These are all gifts that we experience personally and share in common with all heroines and heroes who, seeking self-actualization and personal evolution, venture to discover.

This New Moon in Sagittarius, as we head into the darkest day of the year and the return of the light, I invite you to take stock of the gifts of spirit that have delighted you in this journey around the Sun. Take advantage of the energy concentrated in the sign of the centaur, symbolizing the half animal, half human archer.

Carve out time to identify those especially divine moments that imbue the mundane with magic and instill hope. Ground into the appreciation and wonder you feel for these gifts. From this perspective of grounded gratitude, aim the arrow of your life force energy with intention, and articulate with clarity the mark that is yours in the next season of growth.

Are you experiencing glitches and obstacles popping up in your attempts to plow through your to-do list and seasonal tasks?

If so, I invite you to take this weekend to take a earnest step back, ground and prioritize before continuing full steam ahead. 

Consider what areas the glitches are effecting and what things are tripping you up.

Is the frustration that arises proportionate to the issues itself? If your reaction feels disproportionate, what is that telling you?

Channel the pragmatism of Virgo (reflecting the position of the moon) to evaluate where you are putting your energy, and the carefree energy of Sagittarius (position of the moon) to allow what is not essential and proving to be particularly pesky, to take a back seat so you can be present in vital life moments that enrich you. 

What Conversations Are You In?

This Full Moon in storytelling Gemini, illuminated by the Sun in truth seeking and speaking Sagittarius, is a prime time to inquire into how you are using the power of speech.

Paying attention, for a period of time, to the conversations you are having can provide deep insight into what you are manifesting in your experience; because words have immense power and what you speak is directly related to what you are creating.

The holiday season, as it wraps up the year and orients us toward a new beginning, is a great time to pay attention to what you are saying, where you speak from, the topics you are engaging, and the questions you are asking.

Take a moment on this Full Moon to consider the conversations you were having in the last week and reflect a bit in writing on the following questions:

Note what you find objective and consider any patterns and themes.

Do you tend to speak from your head or your heart?

Do you walk away from interactions feeling satiated or empty?

Are you retelling a certain story or experience frequently?

What questions do you lead with; do they lead to a depth of conversation your find satisfying?

Use your observations to set a few intentions that you can focus on when you are engaging with others in the last weeks of the year.

How are you Feeling this Sunday after the First Round of “Holiday Cheer”?

The next 6 weeks provides ample opportunity to gather, indulge and give.

The key to whether we indulge and give in ways that are life enhancing and support deeper connection or ways that leave us feeling exhausted and disconnected is intention and attention.

Paying attention to where healthy mindful indulges slips into escapism for you is self-knowledge that can make all the difference between heading into the New Year depleted or inspired.

Carving out quiet moments to feel into what we really need to stay balanced and connected and planning accordingly is essential.

With the Sun in Sagittarius reflecting on the Moon in Pisces, it is prime time to take some quiet time to feel into the coming weeks, hone your intention and bring attention to what is key for you to maintain equilibrium as the intensity ramps up.

1. Get out your calendar and get a lay of the landscape through the New Year.

2. Set an intention to prioritize and plan in a way that will keep space for to rest, rejuvenate and bring meaning to the activities of the season.

3. Ask yourself what days are already feeling too packed and make a note that nothing else can be added.

4. Find several spaces where you can schedule in self-care like a body-work, mindfulness/breath/yoga workshops, opportunities to dance, walk in the woods or something else that is nourishing to you and block times out each week and book it now so you are committed.

5. Think about the people that you know you will want to honor by spending time over the holidays and make sure you have a date set to see them because if you do not, you will end up fitting it in and may find yourself overextending as a result.

6. Consider your gift giving strategy (if you are planning to give gifts) and consider how you might simplify it by finding one or two meaningful offerings that would be useful to different segments of your list.

7. Determine who you desire to get something personalized for and make a separate list, consider giving them an experience that will nourish their mind, body and soul. Give the give of compassionate self-awareness and insight into life lessons and purpose with an Astrological Insight Session.

8. Look into shopping experiences that will connect you to local artisans in your community so your commercial activity is something that also feeds your soul and contributes to local meaningful connection. Consider the MadeinDC local marketplaces or private trunk shows like:

December 2: Saturday Sweetbay Yoga Bazaar 4-6pm

5456 Westbard Ave

Bethseda, MD 20816

December 9: The Pheonix  12-6pm

1514 Wisconsin Avenue NW

What Are You Afraid of Revealing or Having Revealed About You?

The answer to this question provides a key to your personal liberation for we cannot be free aslong as we are harboring a fear of exposure or shame on any level about anything. 

Scorpio is the archetype that holds the fear of exposure and secrets for it reflects the sides of human nature that we deny, repress and shame out of fear that if other people knew these things they would judge or think ill of us. 

The list of transgressions that keep us tied in knots is highly subjective. So much plays into what we feel ashamed or embarrassed for people to know about our personal struggles, our families, our experiences, the things we have been exposed to in our lives. 

The kinds of things we hide might be feelings we are unsettled about having, challenges we are having in areas of our lives, regrets from the past, issues in relationships or errors of judgment. 

The truth is it is not necessarily the nature of things we are are afraid for others to know about us or see in us that matters, but the havoc it reaps in our psyches that ultimately is the bigger concern.

The impact of allowing ourselves to be seen in our vulnerabilities and asking for support and help is not nearly as damaging as the way that holding back and obscuring our truth limits authentic expression, self-actualization and the kind of intimate connection we all long to experience. 

This New Moon in Scorpio, especially with Jupiter, the planet of magnification and expansion transiting Scorpio, is a auspicious time to find the courage to release whatever fear you have and name the issue that you are holding back from revealing to yourself or those who care for you. 

Take a bold and brave step over this New Moon weekend and confide in a trusted friend something you feel embarrassed about or where you feel a bit of shame. 

Let them know ahead of time that you are sharing something you are fearful of exposing and that what you desire is to be witnessed and heard. 

And, invite them to share something with you that feels heavy in them. Breathe deeply and be present as you share in this moment of honest heart-led connection and vulnerability.

Are you Longing to be Seen, Heard, and Felt?

One of the things I love about Astrology is how the archetypes bring a full picture of human needs into perspective and provide a framework to consider the needs that we feel most acutely. It can help us consider how we tend to go about meeting them so we can mature in our understanding and approach.

This is so key to life because the truth is, if we do not attend to our needs we will suffer and so will the people around us.

This Half Moon, the Sun in Scorpio shines on the Moon in Leo, evoking the power and intensity of our need to be felt, seen, and heard.

Many of us are out of touch with our needs and at the same time acting out of them.

So many of us learn early on to minimize our needs to be held in the gaze of another, to have another person deeply care about what we have to say, to know that someone feels us.

For many of us, family dynamics, social structure and cultural messaging send messages that we should defer our needs to attend to others.

The irony is that the denial of our needs in the end does not render us more generous.

Take some time on this Half Moon to brighten your light of awareness around the messages you got about your needs.

Consider how you are tending to your needs to be seen, heard and felt.

Observe the behavior of the people you spend time with through the lens of what needs they are expressing with their behavior, and see what insights you gain into yourself and those you love.

Softening into Intensity to Self-Regulate, Release and Recalibrate.

Softening into areas of intensity is a tall order, but it is what this Full Moon in Taurus beckons us to do. We all have those places in our lives where the inner gauge can go from 0 to 60 with reactivity or 60 to 0 into shutdown, in seconds.

Often it is when we are feeling the most hopeful, feeling we have reached a deeper level of openness, opportunity, connection and sense of growth, when suddenly we are gripped by insecurity, vulnerability and/or fear.

As we allow ourselves to wholeheartedly imagine what is next for us in our career, take steps to heal an aspect of past that is affecting us today, edge into a more expansive or authentic expression of ourselves, or try a new strategy to meet the challenges of parenting, we are vulnerable.  

We can be particularly sensitive to a question that touches in on where we are stretching ourselves or when circumstances arise that bring us back into a sense of frustration, fear or doubt. What we do in those moments is what makes all the difference.

It is in these moments that we are most likely to engage in behavior that was modeled to us or we developed as a coping strategy when we had less awareness and skills. We may have little conscious awareness of where/how we developed these ways of responding and often find ourselves feeling regretful or remorseful for not having chosen differently.

Mindfulness is a key to being able to soften into intensity in order self-regulate, release, and recalibrate. It is in the softening that we can to find the spaciousness to respond rather than react. To hold the ground we have gained.

Intensity is simply a form of energy in the end. Moments of intensity are always potential to choose to direct that intensity intentionally. In celebration of this Full Moon and the light of awareness that softening brings, I offer this 10 minute mindfulness practice for softening into intensity.

It can be used in a moment of intensity, where it will be the most potent, if you can soften out of the situation to find a quiet space to take 10. It can also be used in a neutral moment in a reflective way, and is powerful in helping build skills you can apply in moments of intensity.

If you want to dive deeper into navigating the fear and doubt. There is still time to register for my

Free Online Self-Mastery Session: Navigate Fear to Exercise Opportunity and Realize Your Potential. Friday, November 3rd, 12:00- 1:15 ET

Harness the Creative Power of Your Inner Imaginings

Most of us have been trained out of using our most powerful tool for propelling us forward into new horizons: our imaginations. The education system that most of us experienced growing up rewards memorization and application of established means of solving problems and conventional ways thinking.

Yet, it is our imaginations that lead us into the direction of our soul’s callings, that inspire us as individuals, and societies to pursue expressions of beauty.

Our imagination provides sparks of hope that fuel our ability to see our way through and out of the muck and mire (emotional and experiential history) of the unconscious mind that we are venturing into in this Celestial Cycle; so we can truly move in the direction of our growth and actualize our aspirations.

Our ability to imagine that life can be different than it is today and that we can be the versions of ourselves that we sense possible, propels us out of situations that stifle us and patterns that have us stuck in the past.

On this Half Moon in Aquarius, the archetype of the Visionary thinking and rebel (with a cause), allow yourself to inquire within to check the health of this potent and essential aspect of yourself.

Take some time over this weekend to give expression; allowing yourself to voice those inner imaginings that have been pushed aside.

1. Get out in nature. Allow yourself to simply observe the motion of the change of season and the play of nature.

2. After some time just being and observing, pull out a journal or use your phone to record yourself. Without editing, answer the following questions or complete the following thoughts:

As a child my relationships with my imagination was…

As I grew up the messages I received about being imaginative and investing in different ways of seeing the world and myself were…

The messages I got about exploring different ways of thinking about the issues I faced were…

I use my imagination today when…

The most satisfying vision of myself that sparks in my imagination when I am feeling most hopeful is…

My inner response to this vision of myself is…

I allow myself to invest in this vision by…

A few actions I could take to nourish this vision are…

Thank yourself for taking this time and make a plan to do one thing you like to do that would free and feed your imagination before the Full Moon (one week from today).

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles we have in pursuing the potential of our imaginations and what that might lead us forward in life. Fear is also one of the emotions that causes authorities to discourage the development of imaginative thinking. Learning how fear functions in us is key to freeing our imaginations, which is one of the reasons I am offering a Free Evolving Mindfully Self-Mastery Session, on Friday November 3rd,  to explore tools and strategies to learn to Navigate Fear to Exercise Opportunity and Realize Your Potential.

Celestial Cycles: Sun's Transit Through Scorpio

In this Celestial Cycle we take our cues from from the Sun’s transit through Scorpio, which embodies the archetype of the Invisible or Unconscious. This archetype embodies emotional intensity, power, sexual desire and death; with the emphasis on reconciling fears, doubts, and shadow aspects of ourselves for integration and transformation.

Scorpio often gets a bad rap in the mainstream because it is associated with the sides of human nature and experience that our culture deems undesirable, scary, or in need of sanction. This is precisely why it is so important that we take more than a superficial look at the symbolism of this season and this archetype that calls us to scratch the surface and uncover what resides in the depths of our psyches.

In it’s fascination with the hidden places, Scorpio provides one of the most potent opportunities for integration, reclamation and coming into wholeness with all sides of ourselves.

In this Celestial Cycle we will engage in self-inquiries to consider how we can face our fears, desires, and doubts to integrate aspects of ourselves that we repress, deny, and resist.

You can engage in this process by following along on FB or Instagram or, if you are really ready to dive in, sign up for the Celestial Cycle email list to participate fully and receive all inquiries and exercises in your inbox on the Half Moon, Full Moon and New Moon.

Open the Door to all Aspects of You and Call them Home

At the end of the day when the Sun goes down it all comes back to

You and You

Me and me

We are so addicted to focusing on the other

that it is easy to lose track of this fact.

Why do we spend so much of our time:

Running from ourselves?

Externalizing our lives?

Diving into the drama of others?

Looking with conviction beyond the plank in our own eye to examine the speck in another’s?

All the while, we are (I believe) seeking ourselves.

I am as prone to all of these tactics of avoidance and projection as the next person.

Still, I advocate that we actively seek clear reflection.

That we bring our inquiries Home

To our own Hearts

Clearing out the judgements, prejudices, fears, insecurities, doubts that keep us from knowing the unconditional love that is the foundation of all that we search for in our seeking

Inquiring inwardly to find the love that guides us away from that which does damage

to our minds, bodies and pscyches.

Honing the love that ushers us toward that which heals, honors, extends generously and knows the unity of all things.

From here we can truly meet the eyes in the reflection and see

our grandmother, mother, grandfather, father, sister, brother, partner, child, friend

and foe

looking back at us and know.

This Dark Moon in Libra is the perfect time to make a date with the Self to withdraw from the externalizing and go within, carrying an olive branch to make peace with the aspects of yourself that you do not want to see.

Those parts that in your desire to avoid you externalize a journey that can only be taken within.

Offer love to those parts of you that have been neglected, rejected, overlooked or ignored.

Take that time to be with yourself and say what you need to hear.

Open the door to all aspects of you and call them Home.

How Can Self-Awareness Begin to Shift Longstanding Dynamics in Your Family System?

We all live in family systems where the norm was established a long time ago. Family systems are often generations in the making and so set that it is easy to completely take them for granted and overlook the ways that each member contributes to maintaining the status quo.

Even when they have highly dysfunctional aspects, the stability of the system can take precedence over addressing issues that are detrimental to the wellbeing of each individual and their true intimate connection.

While emphasizing balance and harmony, the archetype associated with Libra tends toward avoiding confronting issues that need to be addressed. This can come at the cost of allowing patterns that do not serve the whole to entrench.

When there are dynamics in our family systems that trouble, irritate or upset us, one of the most potent things we can do does not actually involve confronting others. And, in fact, it focuses our attention where we have the most influence. This is, to zoom out and consider our role.

Engaging ourselves is indeed an empowering step in waking up to where our power lies. With self-awareness, we are best able to advocate for a shift in the dynamics that sustain unhealthy and unsatisfying patterns.

The real catch is to keep our attention focused on how our attitudes, thoughts, patterns of communication and behavior contribute to family dynamics.

This really is a huge shift for most of us, because we are so deeply invested in how others words, choices and behavior affect us. We want others to take responsibility for their part.

There is nothing wrong with wanting this; sometimes it comes and sometimes it doesn’t.

Still, one Truth (note the capital “T” here; I do not use those lightly) that I am continually  (sometimes reluctantly) working more fully into the way I engage in life is this:

The only person we can control is the one that looks back at us in the mirror.

I have found that the chances of getting to a place of mutual ownership of the “stuff” weighing down our family structure increases when we own up to our contributions and clean up our side of the street.

In this waning Half Moon in Cancer, which is the sign associated with the home and family, take cue from the cosmos. Zoom out and take stock.

In preparation for the time of release approaching with the Dark of the Moon, set aside an hour for honest reflection.

Prepare for this exercise by setting the space. Choose a place to sit (outside in nature is the BEST!) and take a few deep breaths to attune to the environment and setting into full presence.

Be in the process, read through this again slowly, and consider the intention behind the exercise.

Consider one aspect of your family dynamic that troubles, upsets, or challenges you.

Take a situation that exemplifies this dynamic, but one that you are not super charged or too emotionally triggered by, so that you can be as objective as possible. Imagine that you are watching the situation play out on a movie screen. See all of the characters, including yourself, in action.

Ask yourself:

1. What are the feelings that each person is communicating with their words, body language and behavior?

2. What are the central needs that each person is trying to meet with their behavior?

3. How self aware does each person appear to be of their own feelings and needs?

4. What are the strategies they are using to try and meet their needs?

5. Do you see patterns?

Now focusing on yourself, free write about your contribution to the dynamic:

What are you feeling?

What need is the feeling connected to?

What strategy are you using to meet your need?

Are you confrontational?

Are you defensive?

Are you afraid or reluctant to share how you feel or what you need? If so, why?

Does the role you are playing feel empowered or disempowered?

Where can you see an opportunity for connection based on a deeper understanding of the feelings and needs you can identify?

Where might you shift the way you are interpreting the behavior of others to empathize more fully with what they are feeling and they need they are trying to meet?

What is one action you could take (this might mean doing less) to shift the dynamic?

Take some time to just stretch, breathe, and relax after completing this exercise. Honor your commitment to yourself and your relationships, acknowledging any insight or increase in self-awareness. Be hopeful knowing the potential behavior has to shift the family dynamics as well as the fact it takes time.

Be mindful that any shifts you make in your approach based on this or any exercise will unfold in time and commit to being patient with yourself.

Do something that brings you pleasure and joy to express gratitude to yourself for taking time to live mindfully and tend to your relationships with care.

Rising Toward the Light of the Equanimous and Authentic Self

This Full Moon in Aries beacons us to turn our attention to our relationship with ourselves. A key aspect of the Aries archetype is a clear sense of individuation and a willingness to rise to meet your highest Self.

For so many of us, the idea of embodying the kind of independence that is actually KEY to healthy relationships with others is fraught with uncertainty.

Our deepest longing for true connection and belonging gives rise to a fear that if we truly individuate, articulate our own needs and desires, and express our truth authentically, that we will be rejected.

All of our families of origin, social circles, and communities model particular norms and values. Whether we realize it or not, we internalize preferences that can inhibit us in ways that undermine us; realizing an individuality grounded in unconditional love.

Sometimes this happens subtly and implicitly over time. It may also be the result of direct critical responses, teasing, pushback, threats of sanction, withholding attention, or resources.

One clear example that affects us all is the cultural dichotomy of masculine and feminine. This duality places vast, implicit restrictions (for some strongly drawn explicit ones) on us that causes us to turn our backs on aspects of ourselves.

Many men feel bound by expectations of what it is to be masculine that prevent them from expressing their sensitivity, dissuade them from exploring interests that are labeled as “feminine”, and engaging in areas of life are considered the “realm of women”.

Meanwhile, in many areas, women pay a price for showing their ambition and toughness. They are critiqued for asserting themselves in fields that are the prevue of men and dissuaded from interest in fields that are historically male.

Of course, this plays out in millions of different iterations; many of which involve the rejection of the feminine nature in women and the masculine in men. This Libra Sun reminds us that balance is where we should place the focus of our inquiry.

Even if we have consciously gone against the grain of family or societal norms in some areas of life by following our own path and expressing in our own unique way, there are often ways that we continue to sanction ourselves to our detriment.

It behoves all of us to consider how social dynamics, assumptions, and norms are passed down and how they live in us today. Only in doing so can we lay claim to the full spectrum of our feelings, interests, aspirations, and gifts.

With Mars (the planet that represents the male/masculine) and Venus (representing the female/feminine) Archetypes in the Astrological system standing side-by-side in the cosmos, this Full Moon is a particularly prime time to look into where this dichotomy lives within us.

Stand in the light of this moon and claim one aspect of yourself that you have rejected, diminished, or undervalued.

The most powerful and empowering experiences for self-inquiry and transformation I have experienced are those that work on the level of mind, body and psyche. Join me in exploring this theme this Friday at The Church of the Holy City. 

How is your Approach to the “Work” of Life Affecting the Quality of your Relationships?

This Half Moon is in the sign of Capricorn, which embodies the archetype of the leader that is purpose driven and oriented toward getting things done.

With all we are juggling on a daily basis, it can be easy to get tunnel vision. For some of us we can lose sight of how the way we are approaching the “work”of our lives impacts the quality of the relationships with the people in our lives.

Whether it is colleagues in a professional setting, peers in a community organization, your partner and/or children in caring for your home; the way that we carry out our daily round sets a tone that sends a message and affects our relationships.

We may know this, and yet, it can be easy to lose sight of it, or feel like we do not have the time or tools to deal with it in the moment.

We may not always notice how this is building up. Sometimes this feels more like a dull toothache than a sharp pain, making it is easier to ignore and keep on truckin’ until…

Taking a step back to consider how we are engaging and what we might shift, is a pause worth taking.

Set aside a half hour for this 17 minute meditation practice that I have created to support mindful engagement in the way we work in the world to support the quality of relationships we desire.

Really give yourself this time in a thoughtful way. It only takes a little devotion to carve out a mindful moment to engage in ways that can truly shift your energy, your thinking, and the dynamics in your life.

If you want to dive deeper, consider joining our Self-Mastery Session tomorrow at noon.

Take Time for Release to Restore Balance

This Celestial Cycle comes full circle with this New Moon in Virgo as we bring our exploration with the Inner Healer forward to a deeper level of commitment. Now is the time to come fully into conscious willingness to release feelings in order to shift thought and behavior patterns.

Virgo represents practicality, order, and responsibility. In this Celestial Cycle series, we have looked at the way we can take an active role in our own healing by considering our relationship to indulgence and self-denial, avoidance/escapism, and the power of our stories.

If you have worked with one or more of the self-inquiry processes in this Celestial Cycle, it is a great time to circle back to take it to the next level and create a ritual of release at the dark of the moon. If you have not had a chance to, take a moment and see if one of the three inquiries this cycle would serve you in releasing.

As the sun wanes, it is time to take these reflections to the depth of understanding and bring forward what needs to be released in order to heal. It is also time to make a personal commitment to continue to develop your relationship with the Inner Healer.

As the Sun and Moon both transition from Virgo (representing the Inner Healer) to Libra (representing the Advocate, who seeks balance and equilibrium in the system), it is an auspicious time to call yourself to a deeper level of balance and equilibrium.

What would it mean for you to make a deeper commitment to become a true advocate for your own health and wellbeing?

What is one area of your life that you are longing for more balance?

What would it look like to bring balance to this area of your life?

What would it feel like to bring balance to this area of your life?

What conversation needs to happen to support balance in these areas of your life?

What actions can you take to support these areas of your life?

Personalize this Ritual of Release and Call to Balance:

1. Set aside personal time in the next few days (at the dark of the moon on Tuesday if possible).

2. Have with you: any notes you have taken in this Celestial Cycle process; a pen and loose piece of paper; candle, matches/lighter and a bowl that can withstand a little heat; incorporating anything of symbolic meaning to you on this journey.

3. Light the candle and focus on the flame as you breathe deeply. As you inhale, call yourself to full presence, with each exhale feel yourself arrive in full presence.

4. Distill your reflections to extract what is at the heart of the matter, write down the patterns that you wish to release, being specific about the ways of thinking or seeing yourself/others/world that you wish to shift.

5. Speak out loud each pattern, thought, or idea (you are taking a vow to yourself), stating, “I release…..”

6. Light a corner of the page and drop it in the bowl where you can watch it burn.

7. Take a second piece of paper and distill the commitment you are making in order to become a better advocate for yourself.

8. Speak out loud the area of your life you are calling into balance in this Moon Cycle, name the feeling you seek and the actions you will take to support this new state of equilibrium.

9. Burn the paper with this on it and feel into the beginning of this process unfolding within you.

10. Close the ritual in a way that is meaningful to you and thank yourself for taking this time to engage in your own personal evolution.

Please join us in exploring practices of mindful evolution by participating in one of our upcoming events:

Join us for a special Self-Mastery Session on Thursday, September 28th as we explore how comparison impacts our ability to self-authorize and exercise sovereignty in our lives.